I dream of you in red
Wings ripped off, sliced off in ragged clumps
Ribs prised apart, spilling pomegranate from vacant cavities
I dream of myself in red.
Hands clutching a violated blade
My lips are always vibrant, wine crusted around the edges
And you're bleeding at me feet.
Spine a cavern splitting from skin
And I tell myself I didn't want to break you but every night I sink my fingers deeper
Into your sternum
And I tell myself I didn't want to break you but I'm going to sleep earlier each night.
And in the morning I look at myself in a different light
Your untouched, unsullied body sleeping next to me, eyelids fluttering a frantic bird's wingbeats
I study the pale curve of your throat
And god I want to stain you
I try to scrub it off my in the shower
Every piece of flaking red skin decorating the bottom of the bathtub, washed away down the drain with shamed fantasy.
But this shadow has hands and she grips my neck
This shadow paints me in subtle shades and I can't rid myself of your decay.
I dream myself in red
Draped pulsing promise
I yearn for a heartbeat and I weave one from your heartstrings
I dream myself in red
And you watch me while I sleep, insomniac with a hunger that cannot be sustained.
