I've noticed some kind of alarming behaviour in the community that I wanted to address. This isn't directed at any one person; I've seen a lot of this and it's been around for years.
A lot of us struggle with depression, self esteem issues, suicidal ideation, and other mental illnesses. And a lot of us come on here to vent. There's nothing wrong with venting! But there's healthy and unhealthy ways of venting and unfortunately I've been seeing a lot of the latter.
A lot of you are logging in here, talking about how you want to/are going to hurt or kill yourself, about how you wish you didn't exist, about how you're hurting. And you're doing this through announcements or smbs or other public means. And sometimes that isn't okay.
Let your Local Mentally Ill bitch let you in on a secret: people here aren't therapists. We're not your helpline, we're no crisis team. We're a bunch of regular teens/young adults. When you vent here about how you want to hurt yourself, you're not going to help yourself. You're just going to stress people out.
Does that sound too harsh? I'm not saying don't vent - I've done it, and I'll do it again - but I'm going to get to healthy venting in a bit. Be prepared because I'm about to get deep into this.
Can I be frank? If you're out here typing "hey I'm about to kill/cut myself" you're being manipulative and verging into suicide baiting territory and it isn't okay. Nobody here can help you. We can't call the police, an ambulance, or your family. It creates these feelings of helplessness and fear among your friends and followers here. It's terrifying. And that's the reason why you do this. You don't reach out to your irl friends or family, not just because you feel like they want understand, but because they'll offer you help. And you don't want that. So you traumatise an entire community of people so you can get those validating "please don't hurt yourself!!! We love you!!!" comments. It's a way to express your pain and reach out without the risk of someone intervening and providing you with actual help.
You're being attention seeking. That's a term I don't like to use in the context of mental health. But it's the truth. You're reaching out for help in the only way you know how. You need those validating comments to make yourself feel better, to lift you out of that depressed, about to harm yourself state. Its the only way you feel that you're loved and worth something. There's nothing wrong with a cry for help. When I started self harming, that's 100% what it was. If I'm being completely honest, my first suicide attempt was a cry for help too.
The problem is that your cry for help comes at the expense of your audience and doesn't actually help you. I've had to talk internet friends out of suicide before and trust me, it's traumatic. It made me feel like I was responsible for someone's else's safety. I've spent hours trying to say the right thing while having no idea what is the right thing, trying to keep my own anxiety at bay, terrified I'm about to lose a friend. No untrained teen should have to shoulder that responsibility. And that's the kind of thing you guys are doing to your audience, and it isn't okay. Your audience cannot be held responsible for your safety or mental health. Doing so is irresponsibly using your platform. And yes, you have a platform, even if it's small. I've seen a lot of people here condemning Draikinator and other public figures all while abusing their platform just like they did. This community is full of kids and young people. We have to make our community safe.
So how should you vent? I think it's best to vent directly to friends on here in pms, on discord or whatever, and have set boundaries with those friends. I have a friend who I vent to, and what we do is always give trigger warnings and check that the other is okay with venting before we go into it so we don't trigger each other or cause each other harm. Venting directly to friends wit their permission means that you can express your emotions without harming anyone or bringing wider groups of people into your problems so that they're not scared for you. That way it's much less public . Nothing wrong with letting your followers know if you're in a bad place, but you should avoid going into the specifics (unless you're talking about self harm or suicide or any danger that you've caused yourself in the past)
If you want to vent through your smb, give SPECIFIC trigger warnings so your audience knows and can click away if they feel they're going to get hurt. That way everyone is consenting, but again I urge you to avoid saying you're going to hurt yourself to a wide audience.
You have to consider the impact of your actions on others, and distressing your audience helps no one. It makes you selfish. Just because you're mentally ill, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't be held accountable for your actions. Your mental illness may drive your behaviours but it isn't an excuse.
I don't want people to come away from this chapter upset at themselves or at me. This is coming from a place of concern and a want to keep our community to be safe. If you've participated in this kind of toxic behaviour in the past, don't blame yourself. I've done it. Everyone messes up. Take accountability, correct your behaviour, and move on. You can't change the past but you can grow and strive to be better in the future. If you're currently doing this sort of thing, don't feel like I hate you or that you're a horrible person. You're not. You're hurting, you're misguided, and I'm sorry you're struggling right now. Once again, take accountability and grow. Get the help you need, whether you want it or not. Reach out to irl people who can actually help you in a crisis or help you recover from your mental illness. From someone currently recovering, it's so worth it.
