Beekeeper || Smb #3

I moved to uni!!!

Hey guys! You might've noticed I've been absent lately, no writing updates, not active on discord...and this is why! I moved cities and started university and it's been a bit of an adventure. I had a lot of things to do the week before I moved away - dealing with financial stuff, seeing friends and family, doing last-minute shopping (did I think I was moving to the middle of nowhere?) and packing. 

Two days before move in day, and one day before I flew to Wellington, I got an email saying that the hall of residence I was supposed to live in wasn't earthquake safe. Around a third of the students who were so supposed to be moving in there wouldn't be able to, because one wing had structural issues that made it seismically unstable, and would be accommodated in a different hall. I was lucky, I got my second choice. At first I was really disappointed, I had my heart set on Weir house, but I could've ended up in a bad hall. I was worried as KJ has a reputation as a party hall, and weir is a more academic one, so they attract very different types of people. That kind of change so close to moving really threw me off, but luckily I was too busy to stress about it too much.

Here's what KJ looks like:

Here's my view, screenshotted from my instagram:

Once I clean my horrific depression room I'll show a pic of the actual room

Saturday rolled around and I flew out with my mum. We spent a day in Welly, and then Sunday, eight days ago, I moved into KJ. I ended up with a really nice room, a corner room with a wrap-around window, and it's definitely one of the better rooms. But for the first two days, my worries were validated. I didn't connect with anyone on my floor - they just seem relatively shallow? I don't mean that in a judgemental, superiority complex way, it's just all they really talk about is surface-level stuff and partying, and I'm not good with casual friendships like that. I felt really shy around them and ended up feeling really lonely. That sent me into a spiral. I'm paying $18,000 to live in this hall, and I'm in a new city all by myself, as a mentally ill person with no life skills. If I can't make friends, I'll be so fucking lonely and feel terrible, because living in the halls is a huge part of the nz uni experience. So many people meet friends through their halls. I'd feel like I was missing out if I left. Essentially I went into a big spiral that I would never make friends and I'd feel all alone here. That turned into homesickness. I was sitting on the floor sobbing that I missed my mum and she was literally in a hotel around the corner. The next day was the same but even worse, I walked out to an alcohol store in the rain and it was closed, got back to a big party where I knew anyone and couldn't enjoy because I wasn't drunk. To make things worse, our Orientation Week had been postponed due to covid cases popping up in Auckland and nz going into level 2. I really tried to socialise, but I was so miserable and anxious that night. I sobbed in my room alone again and called my mum. She talked with me and we made a plan about what to do and watched Star Trek together.

Things changed on the third day. I stayed in my room until night, when I just couldn't bear being alone and crying again. I hung out with people on my floor, and a couple of them decided to go floor surfing and see if any parties were going on. We ended up on floor 3, and walked into a random room. I was ready to turn around and walk out, but "Hugh is short" was written on the mirror and I was desperate to make friends and being 4'8, I had to make a joke about it. I ended up talking to the people in that room, and I really liked them. One of the girls gave me her cider and we went out and roamed drunkenly around the city. Then we sobered up and talked in their room, and despite only just meeting each other, we could have a deep conversation. I just really vibed with them, and went to bed fucking beaming.

The fourth night we all went clubbing, they took street drugs that were supposedly cocaine that was probably a mix of meth and something else. I didn't. We had a good time! We've gone out every day since and also been hanging out during the day. It was basically been a 5 day bender - a lotta alcohol, no more drugs except for Abi's adhd meds. That was a wild ride to be on - I had a depressant (alcohol) antidepressants, and a stimulant all in my system at once.

The best thing about this friend group though is the way we all came together. The story starts when my uni did a livestream about living in the halls. About four people commented that they were going into Weir house, so naturally I stalked all of them because I'm terribly socially anxious and I wanted to single out potential friends. There would've been about 350 people in that hall, so that's a 4/350 chance for every person I stalked. Then we found out our floors and i saw one of the girls i stalked was on my floor. Then we all got relocated and I saw she was in the same hall as me. Then I forgot about her. Until I stumbled into her friend's room and she gave me her cider, and then going out with her friends and becoming part of their group. Yeah. Fucking wild coincidence. Turns out she was the one that brought the whole group together too. So, universe, I see you. I'm listening.

Can't show any pics here since I don't have my friends permission, but  if you guys want to follow my ig, you can, its @/aiisha.ag.

So I'm tired as fuck, but feeling a lot better. I've caught up with an old friend who went to uni here last year as well.
Classes have been interesting so far, but its definitely more work than I was expecting and I've been studying a lot.
The City here is great. I've always loved Wellington, in fact, I found this in an old smb post that I unpublished: 

I remember looking out the hotel window that night and being so sad I had to leave. Wellington felt like home. I was so desperate to live here but I never thought I could afford it. And now I'm here.

Anyway, sorry for the radio silence, hope you're all well. I'll try to become more active, I just want to settle into classes first, and I'll need to find a part time job at some stage so I won't really have time to write. But I'll do what I can!