But it flops somewhere around the end
-
Taxidermy
I'm a dead thing you force stuffing into to try and keep alive
Eyes shut and I cannot feel
When he spills me over the bed like a cherry coke
I'm the one who washes the sheets.
He stole all the oxygen from my lungs Laughing as he tells me he's taken my breath away.
Tender of belly and tender of bone, I only exist in the moments where I am flatlining.
I wonder, am I the worst part of him? He can look me in the eye and tell me he loves me and that he's afraid of death in the same sentence.
He tells me he doesn't consider himself a necrophiliac but I can't be so certain He loves a girl with dry drowning lungs and a body so close to decay she draws it on her arms,
Watch me cannibalize myself and tell me
"Hey girl, you're looking like a snack"
"Would you take a bullet for me?"
He asks. I nod but I don't think I'd take a breath for him
He writes me love letters in exchange for my suicide notes, he mistakes my obituary for foreplay, and his mouth is a graveyard, my barren body trapped under his tombstone tongue.
I am glorified roadkill
I'm a body made of flowers no one bothered to water
You can't warm up a corpse by compliments said from hushed whispers and bedroom eyes, the only way you can make me feel heated is by lighting me on fire, let's all attend my cremation.
You hear me say "I love you" when I tell you dead bodies don't speak
And I am a dead body
I am rotting, rotting.
You're seeing my reflection in the bottom of empty bottles again
I've been hurting in a kind of way that makes me go numb
Like the time I punched walls until my fists felt nothing at all.
You let me go.
You're sick of taking me to hospital only to for them to say they can't find a heartbeat
You don't like the fact that I'm a walking Do Not Resuscitate form
You tell me my "sad girl act" has turned lukewarm, it soured in the sun.
It all became a little too real to you.
You finally learned your love wasn't medicine
You can't put a bandaid over a gaping wound and no, I am not a pinprick, I am a bullet hole.
You let me go and I
Learn the art of invisibility
No one sees me and I don't
See them
People don't walk around me when I navigate the streets anymore
They don't quite bump into me either.
I keep my voice inside a little box beside my bed
Because every time I speak people jump. Gasp.
You say you think you're being haunted. I haven't gone by your place in months. My landlord sold my apartment while I lived inside it. The new lady thinks the place is fine.
I am invisible.
No one sees me and I don't see them.
