When I started writing Eyesore, I gave myself a deadline to finish it. That deadline came and went. I said I would write a chapter a week. It's been three months.
My mental health has been awful recently. I can easily say it's the worst it's ever been. Even as a kid I've never felt completely okay, and I've struggled with mental illnesses throughout my teens. I won't get into it all but I'm at the point where if I don't get help I'm gonna be dead.
At the moment I'm just too depressed to write. Plain and simple. I don't have the energy for it. And I can't bring myself to care. I used to be so excited about my fanfictions but now, hey, I'm gonna kill myself by the end of the year, what's the point?
I'm very busy. School and other commitments are kicking my ass. I don't have the time to write.
When I write, I see all the flaws with it. I break it down into technical terms. Is the character voice good, is the descriptive writing okay, does the dialogue flow? It's exhausting. I'm stifling myself with how serious I take all this. I'm not a professional. I'm a kid. I need to let myself grow and learn through trial and error. I can't enjoy writing when I criticize myself the way I do.
Listen, don't worry about me. I want you guys to know why things have been so quiet. I want to enjoy writing. I want to write. And I want to get better. I'm gonna try at all three. Please don't worry about me, I'll let you guys know if I'm going to do anything drastic. I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I'll try to get some things out.
