Listen I'll probably do a big sappy post about new years so this won't be a big post but
MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!
listen, I love you all so much. You're some of the kindest people I know and don't deserve the struggles you go through. Sending you all good times and love 💕💕
(Can you tell I was gearing up to send you all good vibes but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't write the words. Self care twitter threads have broken me)
But I mean it. Christmas can be a weird time. Don't feel bad if you're sad. You don't have to feel happy on Christmas just because you're expected to be. Emotions are valid. To everyone with shitty families, eating disorders, dealing with grief, poorness, depression or suicidal thoughts, I'm here for you. These issues tend to flare up around Christmas, but you'll get through it. I promise. To anyone struggling with anything - mental health, or just feeling disheartened around Christmas because the world is awful and Christmas used to be such a happy time - I'm here for you. You'll make it through 💗
On a more personal note, this is the first Christmas in years where I haven't felt really sad. Especially gearing up to New Year's, which is when my mental health worsens, so this is new. I'm not happy by any means. I've just sort of given up on trying to hope for better times which is...really sad now I think about it. But I don't feel sad and that's nice. More disconnected maybe? Or maybe I'm just feeling better since an entire Christmas miracle happened today where my body dysmorphia cycle broke and I realised it turns out these last two weeks I've just been stuck in my body dysmorphia again and I wasn't actually That Fat™
Seriously I was bloated but I looked so much skinnier in the mirror today it was wild. I had no clue I my perception was off this whole time so that's pretty scary but what's new.
On a positive note I got my brother a cool present and I'm so excited to give it to him. So my (twin) brother has autism and other unspecified learning disabilities. His special interests are Lilo and Stitch, Toy Story 2, Hi-5 (idk if americans know them but they're an australian entertainment group for kids. They sing and act. The members we grew up with don't do it anymore.) and Wordworld, which is a kids show we watched when we were little. He doesn't communicate in the same way abled/allistic person do. He'll answer most questions you ask him and can ask for things he wants but he mainly talks in a form of echolalia where he repeats quotes from the movies and shows he likes. But recently he's modified this. An example is instead of saying "come on, come on, come on!" like Al does in Toy Story, he'll say "say come on, not come awah" (this isn't a typo. It's a-wah) because he used to say 'come awah" to annoy me, and apparently quoting movies incorrectly really bothered me when he said it. And he just talks about his special interests a lot, for example "Lilo doesn't have eyes" is something he's been saying. Idk why. Lilo definitely has eyes and he knows this. So all this background info is basically saying that he really loves these shows. He also loves writing things down in my mum's "chore book." He's discovered he likes writing things down, like when school finished for the year he wrote "welcome home, Aidan" in the book. He wrote "Wordworld" in it as well and drew a love heart. (The love heart is from a hi-5 song.) He also wrote "presents" on Christmas day the calendar
So I got him an exercise book and made two collages of the characters and scenes he likes and glued them to the cover and back of the book. Inside it I wrote him quizzes about the shows since sometimes he'll want to play a "Wordworld quiz" for example. So I took some of the things he talks about a lot and included them in the quizzes. There isn't a lot of material gifts that he really likes but he LOVES getting presents so I can't wait to give it to him. Did I just gush about my twin for a while and info dump you all when it really wasn't all that relevant? Yes. Did I just really want to talk about my brother because I love him a fuckton? Apparently yes.
I'm also going to be spending Christmas day with my little cousins again, which made me really sad last year seeing all the joy they got and I wished I could feel the same way but this year I'm kind of excited? I need something to sort of tether me to reality at the moment and I think seeing them happy will cheer me up. I need to think of more Christmas ghost stories, I was occupied throughout Christmas Eve dinner telling Christmas ghost stories where the three of us kept getting kidnapped by ghosts.
Anyway, aside from my random tangent, I just hope you all have a great day with great people and enjoy yourselves. I love you all.
Gifts!! Request any art or one shots you want me to write/draw and I'll make it happen ;) I'll accept ocs for art but not for one shots, sorry, because writing about other people's characters scares me. (I say, as I attempt to write an au. Remember when I wrote a chapter about portraying canon characters in Things I Hate About Warriors Fanfiction about never being able to write about canon characters because it was too hard? That aged badly.)
Remember I'm always here for you and you're all such amazing fucking people who deserve the world. (A world with equality and no global warming)
Just a note with timing: in nz it's Christmas day rn. Granted it's 12:37 am, but still Christmas day. That's why it's coming now. Anyway Im off to watch The Festive Life of Dan and Phil video because I've been watching them again recently and even when I wasn't actively watching them that video would give me Emotions ™
and right now I need all the festive i can get
