A while back in english I had a creative writing assignment and I figured I'd share the writing? It's short because my teacher gave me a 800 word limit (he gives the worst word limits!! On another report writing assignment he gave my class a 1000 word limit. For an entire report. None of the other classes had a word limit. My report was around 4000 words. Cutting it down was painful.)
Trigger warning - implied rape
Soleil stumbled through the forest, feet on autopilot. She knew the woods behind her house like the back of her hand but she hadn’t been there since last year. Last September.
Soleil used to come here whenever life too much to bear.The forest was her sanctuary; her nurturing mother, her blood and bone. Soleil remembered the flushed summer that painted everything golden, the vanilla skies and the honeyed warmth. The birds chattered in the summer. The sun caressed her skin, feelings like syrup sliding down her back. Seeping into her skin, Soleil liked to dip her toes in the tepid streams. In autumn leaves coated the ground in a multitude of hues. She would laugh and fling herself headfirst into them. Oliver always joined her, laughing and yelling “Soleil be careful!”
They had been joking around and she’d knocked his shoes into the river. She’d waded in, feeling the icy sharpness of the water against her numb thighs. She reached for Oliver’s sneakers but the river snatched them away again and claimed them for her own. Oliver smiled and said it was okay, back when his smile looked kind. Back when she couldn’t see his dog teeth. She emerged from the river, water running in rivulets down her skin. Her lips were blue-tinged upon a blushing red face. She asked him a question minutes later, brushing her baby soft hand over the wildflowers that grew within the grassy banks. His answer was yes, and that began it all. That spring marked a delirium only a first love could bring.
Oliver. Her mechanical feet stopped moving. Why did she think about him? But Soleil knew she’d never go into the forest without thinking of Oliver. She ran a hand through her ebony hair, entangling strands around her pale fingers. Oliver and her forest were synonymous now. Her pupils dilated as her thoughts spiraled. Why was she even here after what happened? Her therapist didn’t agree with her that she was ready. The milky skinned girl took several breaths. Oxygen unfurled inside her, bringing her a sense of clarity again. She willed her feet to move again.
This forest was her home. When did it become a haunted house? Was she the ghost that inhabited it? Soleil raised a quivering hand to grasp the tree, something to hold her unstable body upright. Her heart beat as rapid as a hummingbird; she imagined that she might faint. Soleil slowly sunk to the ground, eyes glassy and fixated on the fallen oak that lay like a corpse on the ground in front of her. Her feet had taken her to the place where it happened.
Last September when love became violent. When boyfriend became predator. Oliver. Soleil. Alone in the woods. When her shoulders caved in and her spine snapped in half. He made barren out of her body. Oliver sucked the marrow from her bones and licked the blood from her lungs. He taught her what mutilation really means. It means to devour, to consume, to cannibalize. She ran from the forest that night, face tear stained and body shaking.
The birds sang the same songs as they did last year. But their cacophony didn’t sound melodic anymore. Their cries began to resemble her screams and pleading. Covering her ears in desperation, Soleil let out a whimper as she tried to block it out. The ground, still littered with old leaves and twigs, now looked like collateral damage left behind. She could still smell the pine scent, but it mingled with the smell of the perfume she was wearing when it happened. “It’s not possible. The smell can’t still be here,” Soleil whispered to herself. She turned around, taking in the complete landscape. Her forest seemed very different now.
Soleil didn’t know she was running again until the world became blurred. Fleeing like a rabbit from a hound, Soleil covered ground in panicked bounds. She left the forest behind her in what felt like hours of aching lungs and a pinching stitch. She stopped running, her body unable to take anymore. Her vision cleared as she slowed and she saw the worried face of her mother. Soleil ran to her, eyes blurring with tears. As her mother embraced her, saying nothing and just letting her cry.
“I had to come back. I used to love this place, I wanted to see if I could love it again,” Soleil spoke through broken sobs into her mum’s shoulder. Her mum stayed silent and stroked her hair.
“Okay, sweetie. Let‘s go home and talk about it,” her mum replied gently, beginning to lead her away.
The forest was a home for her once. But now it gave Soleil nothing but traumatic memories. She had hoped it would’ve stayed the same as it was before but it didn’t. It couldn’t. It would never be again. And, she thought, cradling her side, maybe that was okay. Maybe she’d outgrown her home. Maybe it was time to move house.
