The value of our love | j.jk & k.th

School camp pt. 3

Yoongi Pov

"Yesterday?" Hoseok asked obviously ignoring the situation. 

"When you- you kissed me" I reminded.

For some reason I felt like I was going to cry and I, of course,  held it in since I didn't want to cry in front of him.

"What did it mean to you?" I asked boldly and his eyes widened.

"I... don't know" he answered, keeping his head down.

"Tell me if it was a drunken mistake, please..." I begged, wanting closure.

"It's just... my feelings are all over the place... I don't know why I did that yesterday" he answered seemingly truthfully.

I laughed at myself for thinking that it meant something to him. He looked at my worringly, on the verge of crying.

"So, you're still not over her" I stated and sighed.

Trying to keep my tears in was getting more and more difficult.

"She'll come back and I know it... that's why" it was evident in his voice that he was unsure.

Feeling reaching my breaking point, I was about to say something that I knew I'll regret.

"She's not coming back!" I yelled as I clenched my fist.

His eyes shot up from the ground to meet mine as he stared at me in shock. I just fucked everything up but I couldn't stop myself in the moment. 

"I love you, Hoseok! I love you so fucking much and to see that girl bringing you so much hurt makes me so mad!" I confessed, the tears finally leaving my eyes.

"Yoongi..." he said softly, obviously trying to make me calm down.

He was shaking and tears were running down his face. As I looked into his eyes I felt my heart break. That's the moment I fell apart, backing up until my back hit the wall and falling down. I put my hands over my eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the tears. Hoseok still stood there, speechless.

"Please stand up" he begged, his hands shaking.

"I'm so dumb" I said.

"Yoongi please" he kept pleading.

I didn't answer, I didn't know what to answer. After confessing to everything that I've been holding in I thought that it would make me feel better but now I just feel like shit.

"I'm sorry Hoseok, I'm so sorry" I apologised, finally being able to talk again.

"Don't be sorry! I'm going to get the other's so wait here..." he said, glancing over at me once more before running away.

I watched as he ran out of the building and back down to the camp. In a fit of anger, at myself, I slammed my hand against the floor. I wasn't mad at Hoseok, I love him and I just went and said all of those awful things. What's wrong with me? Not long after, I heard the voices of the others.

"Yoongi, let's finish the assignment so that we can enjoy our time here" Namjoon said in an attempt to calm me down.

"Yeah, we can eat snacks and relax!" Jimin said trying to make me cheer up.

"I've brought a lot of snacks that we haven't eaten yet" Jin said to encourage me to go with them.

"I just want to be alone" I answered, standing up.

As I made my way over to the exit, I saw Hoseok standing by the doors. He couldn't meet look into my eyes and it hurt like a knife to the gut. He'll never be able to look at me the same again.