lungs

part 23

joeys pov

"what do you mean you got suspended?" mom yelled.

"i'm going back in two days. the other guy got out for a week." i said, trying to calm her down. she's over reacting for no reason, i've been suspended before.

"i'm so disappointed in you joey." she said shaking her head with disappointment, "i thought i raised you better."

i groaned, "you're never even around!" i said "what do you mean raising me? you're always taking care of kashius."

"i'm not acting like your father so don't compare me to him!" she yelled, probably waking up kashius and everyone else.

"don't you dare bring him up!" i yelled, she is not gonna start with me.

"well when can i, joey, huh?" she says, "you act like he's coming back. well guess what? he's never coming back!" she yelled, slamming her hand on the kitchen table.

"i don't even care if he's not coming back!" my voice cracks, "at least he did a better job at parenting than you!"

"how?"

"he left." i say, walking towards the front door from the kitchen.

"where do you think you're going?" she asked.

"away." i said, and just like that i was out the door and in the car.

come on, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, god damit.

i lean back in the car seat and look up at the ceiling. i close my eyes and take a deep breath.

he's never coming back

don't do it

don't do it

don't do it

don't do it

joseph don't do it.

i look down and feel tears go down my cheeks. i put my hands on my lap, "god damit, i hate my life."

"dad?" i saw my dad packing his bags and sipping up his suit cases. "w-what are you doing?" i asked him.

he looked down at me, i saw the pain and sorrow in his eyes as he put his hand on my shoulder while getting on his knees. "i'm leaving for a little." he said.

"steve!" i hear my mom yell from upstairs. i hear her footsteps come downstairs. "what are you doing?"

"i'm leaving jen, i don't wanna be here anymore." he said, disappointed.

"daddy?" i hear sophia's small voice say as she came from the kitchen. "what's going on?"

bella came down from downstairs not long after mom. she looked at dad and parted her jaw, "a-are you leaving?" she said faintly.

dad got up from his knees and looked down ashamed.

i looked at mom and she clenched her jaw and made her hands into fists. "you're not leaving me!" she cried.

sophia ran to bella, unaware of what's going on because of her age. she didn't realize that dad was leaving, leaving us.

i looked at dad, he was the closest to me out of all of us. we were just looking at dad and trying to figure why he wants to leave.

"dad." i whispered, he looked at me and shook his head, not saying a word.

he looked at all of us, mom was almost crying, bella was holding onto sophia, knowing what's about to happen. and me, probably about to lose my best friend and, well, my dad.

he picked up his bags and sighed right before turning the door nob and walking out. and that, that was the last time i ever saw my dad ever again.

all that pain and anger i kept in until i got older. i started messing with girls, going to parties, and just doing stupid things that a kid like me, without a dad, would do.

he left behind a eleven year old for a woman in florida, he left behind four children. what a coward.

the girls i messed with i didn't care about. i just did what i had to do and move on. i still have lexi, and we fool around sometimes. but anna, she's different.

i start the car and pull out of the driveway. i need to get myself together before i go back into that house. i turn the corner and see two figures hugging, like a passionate hug.

it's anna and jacob? no, it's can't be. i told him she's off limits.

as i drive by i see he has a grip on her tight as his head is in the crook of her neck. why are they hugging?

"um," she paused, but a long pause, "what are we?"

maybe they have something going on, and that's why she asked what we are. god damit joey, you're so stupid. why would you say you're something, you fucking like her.

he's messing with anna. i told him she's off limits, what point does he not understand of off limits. she mine

mine

she's my girl