lungs

part 97

{sorry I've been so inactive, I haven't had the best summer and I've been having writers block a lot. I'm also sorry that this is so short, you can literally tell that I have writers block}

i was sitting on the couch with Sam as we watched TV. he always liked the show "the loud house" so that's what's on.

in my opinion I don't like the new cartoons.  I honestly think the kid shows should replay the show's that I grew up with because the stuff now is stupid.

I bounced him up and down on my leg as he starred at the TV, smiling.

he's almost a year old and he's so smart. The time is going by so fast that all i did was blink.

over the TV, I heard the door bell ring. I put Sam on the couch as I got up and walked to the door.

I turned the nob and pulled the door, revealing Jacob at the front door.

I was startled to see him here. I haven't talked to him in a few days and now I'm kinda regretting it. I've just been so stressed out about the pregnancy.

"Jacob? oh-hi. " I say out of being so surprised.

"why haven't you talked to me?" he says, I saw his eyes and saw how they had hurt in them.

I turn to Sam just to make sure he's still on the couch before looking at Jacob. "I sorry. " is all that came out.

he ran his hands through his hair as he sighed out of frustration. "do you... " he paused and closed his eyes while making his hands into fists, "do you not wanna do this anymore?"

"i-"

"it's a yes or no question, because we can stop this right now. " he insisted, cutting me off and also raising his voice a little bit.

"it's not that simple, Jacob.  You have no idea-" he cut me off again out of his anger.

"what do you mean?" he asked.

I took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes, scared of what I about to say next. "I'm pregnant, Jacob."

he stood there in shock as he tired to
acatalepsy what he just heard. "b-but we-"

"I know.. I know. it's Joey's." I breathed.

"You said you loved me, Anna. " he says faintly. I could hear how broken he was just by the tone in his voice.

"I do but... "

"but what?"he says, looking deeper into my eyes as we stood outside my door.

"I love joey more. " I breathe.

he puts his arms up and then swings them down to slap the sides of his body.  "fine." he says

"Jacob"

"no I get it. have fun with your baby, I hope you're happy. " he says as his voice cracked.

"so are we done?" I asked with a low voice.

"I guess so. "he let out, slowly walking away from the porch.

I looked down at my feet as the breeze blew my hair. I heard him walk down my porch steps.

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go read my new book "forced" and also read my other book with my friend Leah "out of boredom"