lungs

part 13

he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight. i sit my head into his chest and my eyes get water again. i can feel his hand going up and down my back.

he rests his chin on my head, "it's okay." he whispers.

i sniff, "no, everything is coming apart with my stupid life." i cried. "i don't wanna go back to san fran if everyone is gonna bother me because i'm different."

"what?" he asked.

it's time, i need to tell him, well at least him. "what do you mean?" he asked, pulling away from the hug.

i look at him in the eyes and take a deep breath. "i have one lung." i told him.

he arched a eyebrow and looked at me like i'm crazy, "how do you have one lung?"

"i was in a car accident. my other lung collapsed and i couldn't get it back. i either had to get a transplant or just live with it." i look down from his eyes, " they couldn't find a transplant so i have to live with one lung for the rest of my life."

he takes his hand and puts his fingers on my chin, bringing up my head for me to meet his eyes. he cups the side of my cheeks and wipes my tears.

"you are no different to me even if you have one lung or two lungs. i will always be by your side, anna."

the butterflies come again in my stomach, the same feeling from when he hugged me.

i look at his eyes, seeing them sparkle from the stars in the night sky. the breeze from the wind bowls his hair as it drys from his shower.

"that's sweet of you." i said smiling from ear to ear. i sigh, "my dad is going back to san fran, they're making me choose."

he removed his hands from my cheeks. "are you going to choose."

i look up at the sky and shrug, "i don't know yet."

"okay." i look at him, i see hurt and grief in his eyes, he's sad.

"do you wanna do something? because i don't wanna go back to my house for a while." i said, trying to brighten up the mood.

he smirks." i have a idea." he smiles and starts to run. i try to catch up with him.

the same thing is happening when i played basketball. i stop at my paste, so i won't faint. "joseph." i said, trying to catch my breath.

he was ahead of me a little. he turns around and runs back to me. "you good." he asked with concern in his tone of voice.

"yeah." i said, "remember, i have one lung."

he chuckled, "oh yeah."

"where are we going anyway?" i asked as i looked at my surroundings.

"there's a park in the neighborhood." he said, lacing our fingers together. his hands are so soft.

a few minutes of walking together, we approached a park. it had swings and a little place where you could climb.

we sat on the swings, i sat on the left, he sat on the right. my feet hang down a little as i sit down next to him.

he swings his swing back and fourth a little and looks around the park.. "i haven't been here in years."

i swing myself a little and wrap my hands on the chains. "back in san fran we only had pools." i said, "i went there all the time with my best friend."

"who was that?" he asked.

"mckenna. shes so nice, you would've loved her." i said. "who's your best friend?" i asked.

he looks down and playfully shakes his head. "my dad was my best friend." he said, "we went everywhere together."

"where's your dad now?" i asked him.

he kicks his foot in the mulch under the swings. "he left when i was eleven." he said.

"oh, i'm sorry." i say, regretting that i even asked.

"don't be sorry. he should be sorry." he said. "he left four kids behind for a chick in florida. i heard he has a baby now with her."

"who's the dad of kashius?" i asked.

"my stepdad. he works a lot so i don't see him often, gladly." he says, "i don't like him."

i nodded. the night sounds of the evening filled our ears as we were both quiet.

"you know," i said, trying to start a new conversation. "i don't really talk about this but i kinda know how you feel."

he looks at me and arches his eyebrow. "what do you mean?"

"my ex, kyle, he cheated on me with some hoe at a party that i wasn't even invited to." i said. "so i know how it feels losing someone you love."

"i guess we have stuff in common." he says.

"yeah."

it was silent for like a minute again before he spoke again. "i'm just kinda mad, you know?"

"what do you mean?"

"he was only in my life for eleven years. my older brother, Scott, was taught stuff by my dad. like how to treat a girl, how to shave, you know stuff like that." he sighs and looks up at me, "he never taught me anything. i treat women horribly."

i frown, "you don't treat me bad." i said.

"yeah but anna," he looks at me in the eyes, "you're different."

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