lungs

part 84

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I decided to go back home because it's getting late. The sun was going down, which was so pretty.

I took a picture of the sunset, just to capture the moment while it lasts.

I walked back down the path and got into my car. I started it up and pulled out of the old parking lot.

I drove away from the spot before going into the interstate. As I was driving, I got a text from jacob.

Jacob
"Hey are you home yet?"

Me
"On my way rn, why?"

Jacob
"Just thinking about my girl, no biggie."

Me
"Girl?"

Jacob
"Yeah girl."

I called him because I was driving and I didn't want to crash since this conversation was getting serious.

"I'm your girl?" I asked him as I heard him pick up the phone.

"I mean, we're dating right?" He asked within the phone.

I switched lanes to get off to a exit. "You could say that." I said.

This feels weird. I was so use to being in a relationship with joey, that after we broke up, I went to jacob, not knowing that I would be in a relationship again.

I love Jacob, I really do, but isn't it kind of early for me?

"So you're my girlfriend?" He asked, with joyment.

"Yeah why wouldn't i?" I said, chuckling.

"Hold on I'm gonna be on mute for a sec." He says, making me laugh.

"Okay." I told him.

"Yeah! Let's go baby! I just got a mother fucking girlfriend and no one can tell me otherwise bitch!" He yelled, forgetting to put himself on mute.

"Jacob, you never put yourself on mute." I say as I get closer to my neighborhood.

"Oh shit." He laughed.

+

It's 1am and I'm still awake. I not even tired what so ever. Something been on my mind that I just can't figure it out.

I dont know if its joey, I dont know if its jacob, I dont know what it is.

Why did joey even come back early? Does he want to live in Florida? Who's his new girlfriend? I wish I could talk to him, but I dont want to.

I took out my phone and went to Joey's contact. It said "birlem😎". He was the greatest boyfriend I ever had.

I looked at our old texts from when we were still dating. We were always goofing around and never serious. It's like we were more bestfriends than boyfriend and girlfriend.

Here and there he would tell me things that would just make my heart dance in a circle, which I just loved. He would always know what to say and when to say it.

It started to rain, hard. It was going on my window like the sky was crying and the tree near my window kept on brushing against it.

I always loved the sound of rain. It's so calming and soothing without the thunder.

Knock knock

I'm imagining things. It's one 1am and my mind is playing tricks on me. Hes not here, he can never be here.

Knock knock knock

I turn over and get underneath my blankets, hoping this is all just a dream. Joey isn't here, why would be be here?

"God damit, anna, just let me in." I hear over the pouring rain.

My heart was beating so much that it was about to come out of my chest as I got out of bed.

I went up to my window and opened the curtains to see joey hanging on the tree as the rain poured down on him.

I opened the window and helped him inside, before getting a blanket to wrap around him. I closed it behind him as he got fully inside.

His hair was wet and he was shivering. I tried my best to dry him off as I rubbed him with the blanket.

I sat down on my bed as awkwardness filled the room. It's like were strangers now, and to think just a month ago we were so close.

He sat on the floor against the wall, keeping his distance like I am too.

"Hows life?" He asked me.

"Good, hows yours?" I asked him.

He sighs. "Great."

"What's up with you and that girl?" I asked, regretting it.

"Zoe? Shes my girlfriend." He says, looking down at his fingers. "What about you and jacob?"

"We're dating." I said.

He looked up at me and arched a brow. "I thought he was gay."

"He told me he was bi now." I said, leaning back on the dashboard of my bed.

He sighed and looked down. "Oh." he breathed.

"I liked what you did with your hair, the red looks good on you." He says.

I ran my hands through my hair. "Thanks. I got nose piercings and belly piercings too."

"Yeah I noticed the" -he pointed to his nose, referring to mine- "the nose one."

"I saw that you got a tan." I say. "it's like you're almost my color." I chuckle, putting the mood up more.

He chuckled as well, "yeah."

It went silent after that. It wasn't like it was and us having a comfortable silence. Its like we're in middle school again during our first relationship.

With him here, it's like hes gone. It's like I lost something that's the most important to me, joey. I still love him, the love never went away and I think it wont ever go away

"I still love you." I blurted out, regretting every bit of it. But it's the truth and I can't deny it.

He looked up, surprised. "What?" he says.

I sigh and put my hands in my lap. "Joey I still love you." Its out, and it's not going back in. I already told him, and I can't take it back.

He cleared his throat. "I still love you too, anna. I can't stop thinking about you... do you ever think of me? "

I looked up at him across my room and looked at him in the eyes. "All the time."

He ran his hands through his hair groaned. "God, I dont know if I can't stop loving you.

"Theres nothing we can do, joey." I complained. "I'm with jacob and you're with zoe."

"You can do something." He says.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Run away with me."

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