lungs

part 52

it's been a day or two since the incident with hunter. my trust is completely gone from him. you think you know a person from front to back but then they break your wrist out of anger. i don't even know if i'm ever going to forgive him.

i have to figure out who carried me out of the school. i can't thank them enough for saving me from hunter. who knows what he could've done to me after he broke my wrist.

to this point, i actually have no one. joey and i are done. jacob, gosh, i don't even know if i can forgive him too. and hunter...everyone knows...everyone's seen

knock knock

no... it can't be.

i bolt up from my bed and run to my window. i widen my eyes to the sight of joey.

it's him, it's really him; the brown silky soft hair, the green hazel eyes that sparkle with in the moonlight, that skin you could touch forever as if it was a cozy blanket, and that charming smile that you could kill for, even if it meant seeing it one last time.

i'm caught off guard by him here at my window at 1am. i can barely sleep just by knowing that we're not together anymore, let alone the fact that he moved on so quick.

out of a coincidental question, i ask, "what are you doing here?"

he completely ignored my question and shook his head as if he was in a hurry. "just let me in." he says, holding out his hand for a boost from the tree.

he knows me too well. no matter how hard i try to forget everything about him, i end up repeating my steps and falling for him again. he has that affect on me that i can't control with no doubt.

i beat myself up to that sometimes. knowing that i cant resist him at all, and i have to take that risk of heartbreak all over again too.

he wraps his hand around mine as i put my hand out for him to grab and i pull him into my room. i sit back down on the bed as he brushes himself off from the tree.

it's the silence between him and i that makes it awkward. i guess it's because neither of us know what to say. i mean what are we supposed to say? 'hey i'm sorry that i basically cheated on you at my party.' i mean that's what he would say, but what would i say?

he looks up at me, making our eyes meet, that seems like the first time in years. i can't be here knowing what kind of chemistry we had together, especially with him standing here in my room.

i pull one of my pillows over my lap, almost forgetting i have nothing on hut underwear and a t-shirt.

his eyes lay on the cast on my arm, putting the thoughts of hunter in my head that i don't wanna remember. "how's your wrist?" he asked.

"i have two more weeks with it." i told him and he nods.

that awkward silence fills the room again by us. it's not just one of us, it's the both of usz

"i'm just going to say it." he says before pausing and taking a deep breath as if he's about to go swimming, " i miss you. i miss every little thing about you. it's like, i have to be around you just so i could be sane. you have no clue how much you mean to me, and how much you changed me as a person in these past months, anna"

it's like he read my mind. i feel the exact way but i can't say that though. i have to look like i'm doing okay when in the end, i'm not.

"you cheated joey, there's nothing that can beat that for me to forgive you." i told him, and it's the plain truth.

"what if there is?" he asked, making me arch an eyebrow. "what if i have prof that i didn't cheat on you?"

"that's impossible." i say.

————————————————————

impossible is it?