lungs

part 42

moms baby bump is getting bigger. she never told when exactly she got pregnant. we came to new york almost three months ago. i know that because i started dating joey like two or three weeks when we moved here. so i don't really know if she got pregnant before we moved.

she doesn't even talk to me. even if i try to talk to her, all she would do is cut me off and tell her to leave her alone.

i lean on her door frame and look into the room. she's covered up with her blankets and staring at the wall, something she commonly does.

"mom." i say, hoping she would answer. i just wanna talk to her.

she sighs, "not now, anna." she says.

i walk from the door and over her. i touch her shoulder, "i can make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." i offered, knowing that a pb&j sandwich always makes things better, especially for my mom.

she moved her shoulder and pushed my hand off. "stop." she says.

"please." i begged her, while whispering.

"i said stop an-" she cuts herself off when she winces in pain, making me worry more than i already am of her.

"shit." she says, in a tone of realization.

she grips her stomach and sits up in bed. her eyes widen as she looks up at me, as if she just killed someone.

"my water just broke."

i parted my jaw and stood there frozen. my mind needs to catch up with reality and contain the fact that this is happening. my mom is going to have a baby. she's having my half brother or sister.

we make it downstairs and she hands me the keys. i furrowed my eyebrows at her with the keys in my hand. "mom-" she cut me off.

"god damit anna! just drive me to the hospital." she says, commandingly yelling at me.

"i can't drive! i don't get my licenses until-"

"do you think i'm stupid! i know you cant yet." she yells, "drive me!"

we got into the car and i started it up. i know how to drive, i just can't drive legally yet. i need to get my license. wait i can drive, i have my mom and i have my permit.

i'm so stupid.

+

"two more pushes." said the doctor in the room.

mom is holding my hand so tight right now that i think it's going to break. her screams from pushing the baby are filling the room.

when i get to the age, i only want one baby. i want a boy though, girls are too much. even though my mom said that sarah and i were angles when were babies unlike mathew, i still want a boy. but watch me get a girl instead. either way i'm still going to love it with all my heart.

"it's a boy."

what a coincidence

the main doctor brings the baby up and places him on mom's chest. she starts crying as she cradles the baby in her hands.

he was mixed with moms green eyes. he was so precious and adorable. mom is white so the dad had to be black just like dad, she has a thing for black men.

"name?" asked a nurse.

i look at mom and wait for her to answer. she looks from the baby and up at me and smiles, something i haven't seen in a long time.

she looks at the nurse, "sam, sam cross."

————————————————————

bryce hall was 2 hours away from me last sunday and i couldn't go:(