lungs

part 26

"because i like you."

i scoffed, "bullshit joey." i said.

lexi rolled her eyes and stormed downstairs and out the front door.

"i mean it, cross." he says as he comes up to me, making our chests inches a part.

"don't call me that."

i don't know why i'm denying the fact that he likes me, and i like him but it's just, god i don't know.

because i like you

"anna for this past weeks or month, i don't even know. i've come to the fact that i wanna be with you." he says taking my hands. "you don't know how many times i've just stayed up at night thinking about you, in fact i'm crazy for you."

i don't know what to say at this point, he likes me.

"i like you anna, like, like you a lot." he whispers.

i look deep into his eyes. i look at his face and studies mine as he tries to wait for me of what i'm about to say. but i can't say anything. it's like i have supper glue on my lips.

"joey." i managed to get out. "i like you too."

he smiles really big and cups the side of my cheeks, smashing his lips against mine. this feeling gets better and better as we do it more.

he puts our foreheads together and looks at me in the eyes. "will you be mine, cross?"

i smile, "i'm yours, birlem."

+

"are you ready" i read off of my phone from a text from joey.

i finish putting on my mascara and pick up my phone. "definitely"

my family still doesn't know that i'm officially dating joey. wow, it feels weird now that i say it.

officially

i have the poster due today for the game on saturday, which is tomorrow. i hope jeremy and jacob didn't argue about the coloring after i left on yesterday.

i walk downstairs and get a apple from the fruit bowl on island. my mom comes down from downstairs.

she smiles as she looks at the apple in my hand, "oh you're eating healthy?"

i rolled my eyes, "yeah, and you're getting divorced?"

she looks at me and gives me the death glare.
"don't talk to me like that, and speaking of which. have you made your decision?"

"ugh, are you still on this?"

"your father and i need to know." she says.

"why are you even making me choose? i'm graduating next year and i'm almost through junior year." i say.

"you're not 18." she says.

i roll my eyes again. "i still haven't made the decision, okay?"

to be honest, i don't really know who i wanna live with. if i go back to san fran, ill see the people who traumatized me after my lung collapsed. but if i'll stay here, i'll be with joey and jacob and live a happy life.

but san fran is where i grew up, and it's where mckenna is. but here is where joey is, and we just got together yesterday. and he's the only one who knows about my lungs.

ugh, i don't know.

"well just tell me when you do." she says, going back upstairs.

i go and put on my shoes and walk out the door. i walk down the front steps and go to joeys driveway.

luckily he was only suspended for three days so he's coming back today. which i'm glad about.

he comes out with black ripped jeans with a champion hoddie, and with his hood up on his head.

he smiles from ear to ear as he approached me. "hey, cross." he says.

we start walking to the bus stop, "hey." i said.

he laces our fingers together as we walk. his hands are so soft and warm, i just wanna hang onto them forever.

she looks at me and gives me the death glare.
"don't talk to me like that, and speaking of which. have you made your decision?"

sooner or later i need to make the decision and i don't know what i want.

"anna?" he asked, "are you okay?"

he got me out of my thoughts, "oh um, yeah. i just have a lot on my mind." i said.

"well what's on your mind?" he asked.

hm well one of your good friends is gay. my parents are getting divorced and they're making me choose over them and i don't know what i should do. and then now i'm on new medication that i need to get used to.

"i don't know." i say, shrugging and looking down.

he squeezed my hand, "you can tell me." he says.

i take a deep breath and literally tell him everything that's been going on, except for the part that jacob is gay. it's not my place to tell joey but i love how he's so understanding so even if i did tell him he probably wouldn't even care.

he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest. "no matter what, everything will be fine." he whispers, sending those chills down my spine.

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i feel like this is getting boring.