lungs

part 12

i walk into the house with my family sitting in the living room all concerned.

i look at dad and give him a confused look. sarah is sitting on the edge of the couch and laying her head on the arm rest. mathew is leaning his elbows on his knees, while staring at the ground. mom looks like she's about to cry and dad is just doing the as mathew, staring at the ground.

i furrowed my eyebrows, "what's wrong?" i asked dad.

my mom soon has tears falling from her eyes. dad looks up at me and looks me in the eyes and takes a deep breath. "anna," he paused, "your mom and i are getting divorced."

i part my jaw as my breathing went uneven. "divorced?" i asked, "as in separation?"

my mom wiped a tear and nodded, "it's for the best."

dad took another deep breath, "i'm moving back to san francisco and i was wondering if you would like to come back with me."

i look at sarah and mathew, they don't even look back at me. i could feel my eyes get watery as my heart picked up a paste.

i look at mom and dad like they're both crazy, "you're just going to make me choose?" i asked.

mom and dad looked at each other and looked back at me. dad was about to speak but i cut him off as anger took over me. "save it." i said.

i make my way towards the stairs, "i'm going to my room." and just like that, i went upstairs.

i slam my door shut and lean up against behind it and curl up into a ball. i bring my knees to chest and lay my head on my knee caps.

it feels like the room gets more and more smaller as i cry here on the floor. they never have shown any signs of them wanting to get divorced, they were so happy. and why now? i'll be leaving for college next year.

the thought of them being separated comes to mind in my head. what if i go back to san francisco with my dad? what about sarah and mathew, where would they go?

if i go back then i would be traumatized by the people there, and everything will come back to me again. if i stay here then i get to start over and nobody can know about my lung, and i can choose who i want to tell and who i trust.

i already have friends here with me, why go back when i have one back in san fran?

joey, he's basically the one friend i'm close enough with right now. i need him.

i get up from the ground and wipe my tears, even though they're puffy. i look at the time, 7:30.

i go to my window and open it. i climb down the tree with my phone and my ear buds in my hand. i walk across the street to joeys house.

there i stand in his driveway as i pull up his contact on his phone. "look out your window." i texted him.

i see a window light turn on and there i see joey with his shirt off, he looks like he just got out of the shower because his hair is wet.

he opens his window, "what's up?" he asked.

"can you come out?" i asked him, also noticing he has abs, damn.

stop it

he nodded and walked back from his window, he's probably putting on a shirt. he came back to the window after he had a shirt on, "go in the backyard." he motions.

i nodded and ran to his backyard. soon, he comes out of his back door in a sweatshirt, with his hair still wet.

we walk back to the front and go to side walk. "why did you want me to come out?" he asked as he walked down the street.

i put my hands in my pocket and shrug. "i don't really have a lot of friends, and i don't wanna go to my house right now?"

he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me with concern in his eyes. "why?" he asked.

i look down, trying to hold back the tears. he puts his hand on my shoulder and stops walking, i stop walking too. "what's wrong?"

i take a deep breath and look up at him. "my parents are getting divorced."