To the Moon and Back (MJ fanfic)

I Do Again

The next few days were bitter sweet. Michael and I said our vows on the 5th, and on the 6th I had received news that Caroline Holcomb, 32, had gone peacefully in her sleep that night.

It wasn't that I didn't know what to feel... It was that I didn't know how to feel. It was too complicated of a situation, and truth be told she reminded me a lot of myself, and perhaps even vice versa. On top of that I still didn't know what to label her; My Fathers Girlfriend? My almost Step-Mom? A women who was only less than a decade older then me? The deceased Mother of the child we were about to adopt? None of them felt right, so I decided to just settle or Caroline. I hadn't known her, but from the short visit I felt like maybe I had.

The day of the wedding was busy.

Most all of our friends and family arrived either the day before or the day of - some of whom stayed at Neverland while others stayed the night at hotels in LA.

It was nice to see my in-laws once again, and I even had met some that I didn't get a chance to talk to all that much at the barbecue last year. One thing that I had noticed though was that the dynamic between Michael and some of his siblings felt more like a business transaction than a brotherly or sisterly bond. And while he insisted that he was happy that everyone could show up, I knew better. He was putting on a show.

But we both were in a way. This wasn't fully us. And I knew for a fact that we'd both be willing to have a small wedding again in a heart beat. This was for the people we loved; our family, friends, and fans. Or the three f's as Michael once referred to them.

While Michael had guests swarming in by the dozen, I only had Kate, Dan, Caleb, and a few friends that my sister and I shared between the two of us. It was a miracle that we didn't have to do the traditional family seating arrangement or else mine would've looked like the Sahara desert while Michael's looked like Noah's ark.

There's was no argument though that the venue had turned out absolutely beautiful, and I didn't know how yet - but I was going to make it up to Kate in some way, yet I had no way of knowing. But I knew that Michael and I would figure it out.

The dress that I wore was a one of a kind from a very prestigious French designer. When we first had hired the Mary's they had sat me down and asked me some personal questions. At first I had no idea why they were doing it, but eventually I got the gist that they were seeing what kind of person I was so they could make the appropriate dress for my personality. Which was amazing to say the least.

"This is going to be a dress that people will remember for the rest of their lives. They'll duplicate it, criticize it, and have it in every magazine from Home and Living to Vogue. And for some people, they'll even know you by this dress." Kathy said dramatically, "It'll follow you for the rest. Of. Your. Life." She gave me a Cheshire Cat grin. "But no pressure, so choose wisely."

I was used to her dramatics by now, but did take what she said seriously. I knew that it was true and she knew what she was talking about. It would dictate who I was in a lot of peoples eyes - which was silly, but how the world worked. I thought about Princess Diana and Priscilla Presley and how their choice of dress followed then throughout their entire lives...

The dress that I had gotten was simple and elegant. Yet went with our theme of almost a Cinderella-esque fairytale. The sleeves, back, and front had lace covering the majority of the area, with a base of the dress being an eggshell white that ran down and partially dragged behind me. It wasn't extravagant by any meaning of the word, but it was still beautiful. On my head there was small crown that was used as the finishing touch for my hair that was pulled up and professionally done. It was a very different mood from our first wedding, which was just laid back and fun, but I loved both of them just the same... But that had mostly to do with the man I was walking down the isle to.