West Coast × c.d

Chapter Sixty Two

West Coast

Chapter Sixty Two

Saphrin's POV

I ran to the bathroom the world crashing around me. The walls flipping inside out, my stomach climbing up my throat. I unlocked my front door and sprinted to my bathroom.

I pushed and slammed doors open, trying to find one small hidden but destructive tool. My friend and enemy, a thing that changes lives. I opened my draw to my vanity and there in the very back was where I found it.

I pulled it out and stared at it, looking at my uneven reflection. It slowly became blurry from the falling of my tears collecting on the surface.

I came back to reality and focused on this deadly object. I fell to the floor and took what I thought where my last breaths.

I squeezed the remaining tears out of my eyes and said a short prayer. Putting things I loved and regretted all into one, if that was even possible.

I told myself to just do it, nothing was holding me back now, I didn't want anything to hold me back.

I held this thing, this shiny, silver, sharp metal blade, that actually kills lives. Taking innocent people to hell and never being accepted. I short little memory popped into my head, something I will remember wether I'm dead or alive; it's always in the back of my mind.

FLASHBACK

I walked through the cafeteria doors and sat down at the usual lunch table where Chyna sat with me.

"Hey what's up?" she asked like she did every single day.

"Hey Chy." I said slowly.

"What's wrong?" she asked immediately.

"Noth-"

"Don't give me bull shit, what's wrong." she restated sternly.

"It's just that today in health, we talked about suicide." I stated in a sad way.

"Why does that bother you?" Even though she already knew.

"Because you know that I hate it when people commit suicide, there's no need to." I said getting flustered.

"You know that, people commit suicide to end there pain right."

"Yes b-"

"I want you to always remember something, until the day you die." I nodded.

"Just imagine, your life filled with pain, misery, bullies, all that horrible shit." she paused and I nodded.

"If your life is filled with shit in the real world, just imagine worse. Being tormented by demons and killed every single day but that shit never ends. If you want to get rid of your pain in this world, killing yourself and going to help isn't going to solve anything. It's only going to be worse from there." And it stuck. Like glue in the back of my head, every single day I'd remember what Chyna said. I never would forget it, it's stuck in the back of my mind.

FLASHBACK ENDED

But for once in my entire life, I really didn't care. I shed my last tears and watch the blade inch closer to my shaking arm. I could already feel the pain but not from anything but my heart.

My brain started to spin and I froze for a second. I actually felt like I was in reality for a second. I took a breath and I looked down and immediately snapped back into my unrealistic world.

I mentally told myself to do, I was so frustrated with my self I said fuck it, and a rage of anger took over me.

Without thinking I slammed the blade into my wrist immediately watching it sinking in. I clenched my jaw in pain but sighed in relief and pleasure. The blood streamed from my wrist and the cold air stung. I grabbed a tighter grip on the blade and sliced my wrist again.
Again and again until I was to the point where I lost count. I just kept going for the fun of it.

"This one is for being ugly." One cut.
"This is for being a dumbass." Two cuts.
"This is for being a loner." Three cuts.
"For not being good enough for anyone." Fourth cut.
"Five, and six, seven and eight." I sang to my self with tears poring down my face and soaking into the cuts. I looked down at the monster I created. I cant even see my arm anymore, just blood and pain.

I heard sudden banging on my door, it startled me but didn't mess up my state of mind.

"Saphrin, Saphrin open the door." It was Chyna.

"SAPHRIN OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!" She yelled lightly with small sniffles to the side. The tone in her voice had a tint of sorrow and pain.

I didn't move anything but unlocked the door and sat back down on the blood covered rug.
The door slowly crept open and Chyna's red washed out faced appeared. She looked like she'd been crying her whole life. I leaned my head against the toilet and sighed letting out the pressure i was experiencing when a wave of uncertain depression hit me, hard.

"I DO THIS FOR A REASON." I screamed.

"No you don't-" I cut her off.

"Yes I do Chyna, you don't understand! My life is filled with bullshit, it sucks. I'm crashing down inside and no body can see it!" I screamed furiously.

She fell down by my side slowly, tears following the never ending path down her cheek and across her neck where it then vanished under her shirt. She took my arms and stared, never saying a word while she placed the razor in a plastic bag and picked me up off the ground.

She sat me on the toilet and rolled up the rug I was previously sitting on, then opened up a roll of medical wrap. The hydrogen peroxide stung my deep cuts like hell lived inside me, wiped all the blood off carefully and wrapped up my arms.

I was speechless, but still silently crying, inside and out. My chest heaved up and down very slowly.

Chyna put away all the bandages, took the rug and razor out of my room, I trailed behind her as she walked outside to the backyard. Put both of them items in the fire pit and set it on fire. She turned around and went back inside, as for me, I stood there like a fool. Pain rose up in my arms, chest and stomach, while heat reflected off my face from the fire.

I came out of my daze and slowly made my way back inside. Chyna grabbed her purse and car keys then headed towards the door. I quickly hurried to catch up before she could leave but she beat me.

"W-Where are you going?" I stifled through my teeth.

"Home."

"Uh why?" I sounded desperate and out of control but I couldn't help it.

"I need to think things over." She said and walked out the door leaving me alone. The start of her BMW worried me, I felt so lonely already. The rumble of the car and shifting of gears in the faint distance assured me that she was gone.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn't know what to think, because I couldn't think in general.

I ran to my room the fastest my body made possible, in little time, a rolled up in a blanket and fell asleep to a dark world. Little did I know that when I awoke, everything in my world would change drastically.

/ / / / /

A.N-
Hey lovelies, I'm back and I'm so excited. I hope the readers I had from the start haven't vanished because the readers I had in the beginning where so loyal and if your still here, I'm thankful for that.
I will try updating every other two days, so I just you could say I'll be updating frequently but it might take me awhile some days.
Thanks for reading, ily -C

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