Truth Or Dare With The DOD and JW Book 2

Nine Deaths Part 3- Pineapple (Hosts)

Permafrost: *is reading Wrong Side of the Law*

Shore: Is that any good?

Permafrost: Why, yes it is, I'm sure someone can vouch for that too. You should read it.

Haze: Is this nothing but shameless self promotion?

Permafrost: Why, yes. Yes it is.

*players appear*

Ember: Alright Kelp, it's your turn up at the chopping block!

Seashell: Whose dish is ON the CHOPPING BLOCK?

All:......

Seashell:.....Got bored. Watched a LOOOOOTTTTTT of Food Network.

Haze: Got it. Well then. Ander?

Ander: *snaps talons*

*cat version of Pineapple appears*

Joy: Make it brutal, would you?

Kelp: Well, actually, I was going to turn it into a performance.

Joy: That...That'll work too.

Shore: *clicks on boombox*

Kelp: *starts singing*

Kelp: Have you ever felt sad or lonely?
Have you ever felt two feet tall?
Have you ever thought, "Man, if only
I was anybody else at all"
They like to kick you
When times get rough
And you give your all
But it's not enough

Rainkeeper: Oh no.

Joy: YEAAASSSS, BO BURNHAM.

Kelp: And sticks and stones might break your bones
But words can break your heart
And if you don't know where to go
I'll show you where to start

Kelp: Kill yourself, it'll only take a minute
You'll be happy that you did it
Just go over to your oven
And shove your head in it,

Kelp: *shoves Pineapple in an oven and cranks up the heat*

Pineapple: *dies and respawns*

Kelp: Kill yourself, really, you should do it
There's really nothing to it
Just grab a mug
And chug a cup of lighter fluid

Kelp: *pours lighter fluid down Pineapple's throat and tosses a lit match in afterwarsds*

Pineapple: *screams and explodes*

Joy: *laughing*

Pineapple: *respawns*

Kelp: I sound un-empathetic
I sound mean and rude
Suicide is an epidemic
And I don't want to be misconstrued
Signs of depression
Go overlooked
So if you're depressed
Then you need to book
A therapy session
Talk about your depression
Let a professional hear it
But if you search for
Moral wisdom
In Katy Perry's lyrics, then

Kelp: Kill yourself, it won't be painful
If you are able
To give a little kiss to an oncoming train, you'll
Kill yourself, it's over, mull it
There's a trigger, pull it
Get it through your head, "it" being a bullet

Kelp: *shoots Pineapple in the head*

Pineapple: *dies and respawns*

Kelp: *shoves her in front of a train*

Seashell: I like trains.

Pineapple: *dies getting run over by a train and respawns*

Kelp: Stick your tongue in a plug
Suck a pipe of exhaust
Make some toast in the tub
Nail yourself to a cross
Hold your breath till it's gone
Drink a gallon of mace
Be gay in Iran
Let Oprah sit on your face

Kelp: Jump off of a bridge
Skinny dip in a flood
Sky dive attached to a fridge
Drink a Haitian guy's blood
Break into the zoo
Give a tiger a shove
Eat a Phillips head screw
Marry Courtney Love

Kelp: *kills Pineapple in all the above mentioned ways*

Ember: Um, Kelp- Kelp, you're supposed to stop at nine-

Joy: Shhhhhhh,

Ember: But-

Joy: No. It's okay.

Shore: But the-

Rainkeeper: Let it be.

Air: LET IT BE,

Seashell: LET IT BE, 

Nightflyer: LET IT BE,

All: WHISPER WORDS OF WISDOM, LET IT BE,

Haze: How did we go from murdering Pineapple Bo Burnham style to the Beatles???

Joy: Welcomes to Truth or Dare. That kind of stuff happens here every day.