Fated to not die - Death Note FF [Reader choose what happens next]

Chapter 5

..."Hmm, maybe you don't belong to any investigation organization and investigate alone! That would explain your carelessness..." when you heard that, you wanted to spit out the coffee.

'But...How...What...!'
Under shock, you felt all your thoughts flying around your mind.
Your heart about to jump out of its place or about to stop...you didn't know exactly...
As if it was not enough, your panic increased and you had the feeling it was gonna kill you.
You were not able to move for this moment. Even if you could, what would you do?
You felt your eyes sparkling of a mixture between shock and fear.
You were frightened of this unexpected statement.
Your mind felt like a grenade that was about to explode.
Even your nervousness was nearly killing you.

'That's not the reality!!!' you thought. 'I must be dreaming or something like that...'
But it was hopeless...
You knew all that was real...
But...Who the hell is this guy??? It can't be a coincidence...
That's impossible... or... does he already know everything about you? Did he stalk you and plan to meet you here?
'What the hell is going on?' you thought still under shock.
You bit as usual into your bigger lip, but this time you bit harder.
'I'm really wondering if he is really that clever or just guessing...!' you wondered and tried to hide all these feelings. You tried to act as if nothing happened and took some deep breaths to cool down.
'It was from the moment my eyes caught him outside on the street... from that moment I'm not finding myself again...I became strange to myself...That's not me who is currently sitting in this cafe shop in front of this weird guy who is calling himself Hideki Ryuga. That's not me...! This never happened to me before...!' you thought and noticed your shock decreased but your panic didn't change. You felt the urge to not be near him any longer...

"Ummm, Hideki?" you called him in a hesitant and unsure tone and noticed, that you weren't successful in hiding your feelings.
"Hmmh?" he lifted his head from the cake and gave you a questioning look. But before he could look into your eyes, and maybe find out what's going on, you said quickly "I...I'll be back...in...in 5 mi...minutes!" as you stood up and headed with fast steps to the toilets.
You only felt his gaze on your back, while you were walking and hoped, he wouldn't regret this meeting because you hadn't the chance to show him who you really are. You also hoped he wouldn't think you are uninteresting or get curious and suspect you for anything. But you also hoped that he wouldn't lose his interests on you...

Approaching the place, you supported your hands against the side of the sink as you watched yourself in the mirror.
'What a day...!' you started to look at every detail of your face and wondered again about what happened to you. 'I'm not identifying myself again. He must be a professional and not an average person to steal all my self-confidence and make me change this much in a short time. Otherwise, I wouldn't come to the idea to become an investigator or detective if I knew, that I've such a weak personality...' you thought and squeezed the side of the sink of anger that raised in you. 'Who the hell is that guuy...' still angry you removed your hands from the sink and splashed cool water on your hot face. You did it again and could feel its effect.

Then you lifted your head and stared at your wet face in the mirror. Some water drops were making their way down your forehead and cheek, but you didn't whip them away.
'(Your name), that's my real name...! (Alias),...my fake name...! I could have told him my full alias, but I didn't...!' you said in a low voice to yourself while staring deep into your (color) eyes.
After a while, to turned away from the mirror and dried your face. You took out a cream from your small hand bag, that you took with you, started to put some of it on your face and then massage your face. This always relaxed you.
You closed your eyes and kept massaging your face especially your temple and the place between your eyes on your nose, there where you could feel the headache most.

'Hiding my last name, even if it's only a fake name...Kira...Why would it be better to hide a last name...?' you started to ask yourself after a while of massaging your face. Now you felt more relaxed and able to think. With the massage, you cleared your mind and the headache was gone. Every negative feeling you had was almost gone and you could recognize your real self again. You nearly forgot about what happened before a short time and were ready to face Hideki again.