LOOSING HOPE

THE TALK

After spending hours behind Sanem's bedroom door, both of them came out. They were exhausted, but extremely happy. Can asked her if she was ready to return to Istanbul. Sanem told him she couldn't. She signed a contract for 3 months, so she could promote her book in America. Can looked at her and asked you did what? Sanem repeated herself and looked at him in shock. She asked him why he sounded like that. He said 3 months, Sanem. That is a long time. She yelled at him she could have signed for 6 months! Can calmed down and told her 3 months was a long time. Sanem said 6 months is longer. She asked him if she should sign for 6 months instead of 3 months? He said no; 3 months was good enough. Sanem told him to go back to Istanbul and she would return in 3 months. Can said nope. You stay, I stay. You leave, I leave. She told him he couldn't stay here for 3 months. He had an agency to run. He told her Embre was taking care of the agency and he was just a phone call away. Sanem asked him if he was going to live in a hotel for 3 months? Can told her if he had to, he would, but he would much rather stay here with her. Sanem said that wasn't possible. Can asked why? Sanem told him she left Istanbul to give each other space. Can told her he never asked for space and that he actually asked her for more time together so he could get to know her again. Sanem looked him in the eyes and told him she wasn't what he needed.

Can just stared at her. He said since you seem to know me so well, what exactly do you think I need? Sanem told him someone like Ayca. She would be a better match for his other half. Can laughed and said I don't want Ayca. He said listen and listen well....I want you....only you....nobody else! My soul is telling me you are my other half. He begged Sanem again to give them a chance. He told her he felt he was good enough to make love with, but not be with. He asked Sanem if she just used him for sex? Sanem told him no. She could never be with a man that way unless she loved him, and she has never loved anyone but him. Can asked her what the problem was then? You want to be with me, and I want to be with you. Can told her he didn't see the problem. Sanem told him with tears in her eyes, I am too scared to go down this road with you again. It hurt to much the first time. You never took my feelings into consideration and every time I did something wrong, you cut me off at the neck. You wouldn't listen to my explanation and basically threw me out of your life. I am not perfect, and I never pretended to be. I made mistakes and quite a few of them. But I couldn't tell you the truth because I knew you would dump me...which you did; twice. Then I had to sit back and watch you flaunt women in front of me...Polen, Ceyda, Gamze and now Ayca. Day after day you were tearing my heart out and you either didn't care or you just didn't notice. I quit the agency a few times so I wouldn't have to witness all this and somehow, you charmed me to come back. It just kept happening over and over again. And now this thing with Ayca is right there in my face. I had to watch this happen again, but with a different woman. I couldn't do it, so I left. She told Can that she refused to keep living her life being hurt by him. I understand you lost 2 years of your memories and do not remember any of this. But I didn't lose my memories. You don't remember how bad you hurt me, Can, but I don't have the luxury of forgetting any of it.

Can stood there and listened to her intently. He told Sanem how very sorry he was. He wished he could remember the last 2 years. I wish I could remember what an asshole I was to you because I would have probably punch myself in the face. That made Sanem laugh. Can asked her just to spend time with him. He didn't expect anything more. He just wanted a little of her time. He said, I beg you. Sanem told him OK. He could stay here in her apartment with her. She told him no expect anything else but her time. Can gave her a quick kiss. Can asked her with a mischievous grin on his face, so does giving me some of your time include sexual workouts? Sanem's face turned bright red and she couldn't help but laugh. She said we will see. Can asked her if her time involved kissing her when the urge struck. Sanem cleared her throat and said kissing was fine. Can said good. He then dived in for a passionate kiss. Sanem couldn't help but respond. This mythical God drove her hot crazy. She had to end the kiss, because she had to get ready for her book signing at the local book store. Can asked her if he could come with her. Sanem told him she didn't see a problem with that. She said she had to get ready before Travis picked her up. Can thought to himself that Travis better know he was only "picking up" Sanem to drive her to the book store. He better think again he if thought he was "picking" her up for anything else.