LOOSING HOPE

SANEM GETS DISCHARGED

Sanem was going home today. The doctor said she was well enough to be discharged. Unfortunately, her 3 babies had to stay longer. They had not met the required weight range to be discharged. Sanem and Can went to see their babies before they left the hospital. Sanem sobbed and sobbed. She did not want to leave her babies. They were supposed to be going home with her and Can. Sanem did not want to leave without them. It wasn't supposed to be this way. New mothers were supposed to go home with their babies, not without. Sanem could not stop crying. She kept saying this wasn't right. This was all wrong. Can didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better, so he just held her while she cried at the nursery window. He finally got her to leave with him. He helped her into the truck and they headed home.

When they arrived, Sanem was still silently crying. She just sat there in the passenger seat and did not move to open the door to get out. Can got out and came around to her side. Her opened the door and undid Sanem's seat belt. He picked her up and carried her into their home. When they entered their home, Can sat down on the couch with Sanem on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her. He whispered words of love in her ear while he rubbed her back. Sanem soon calmed down but remained on Can's lap. She laid her head against his chest. She eventually fell asleep in his arms. Can stretched out on the couch, taking Sanem with him. He kept his arms wrapped around her. They were facing each other, but she was sound asleep. Can gave her gentle kisses all over her face. Can thought she looked so fragile. He closed his eyes and soon he was also asleep.

Can awoke to the feeling of someone rubbing his face. He opened his eyes and looked straight into Sanem's eyes. She looked so sad and broken. Can asked her if she was alright. Sanem told him not really. She missed her babies and wanted them home with them. Can told her he understood but their babies needed medical attention they could not give them at home. Can promised her the babies were in good hands and would be home soon. They would then have the rest of their lives to be with them. Can told her they could go to the hospital as much as she wanted to visit them. Sanem gave him a small smile and said OK. Can asked her if he could make her something to eat. Sanem told him she wasn't hungry. Can insisted she eat. He didn't need her back in the hospital. He told her he would make her something light. Can went into the kitchen to make her some soup and salad. When it was done, he placed it on the dining room table. He went to get Sanem. He told her to come and he grabbed her by the hands. He led her to the table and helped her sit down. He sat across from her.

Sanem picked at her food. She just had no appetite. She wanted her babies' home. Can told her if she didn't eat, he would just have to feed her. Sanem smiled and said she would try. She started taking bigger bites. She eventually finished her soup and salad. She told Can she wanted to take a shower and asked if he would help her. Can smiled and said of course. He helped her into the bathroom. He turned the shower on to warm the water. He then helped Sanem remove her clothing. He applied the waterproof binder to her c-section staples. Sanem looked down and made a face. She told Can that was going to leave an ugly scar. Can told her absolutely not. That scar was going to be beautiful just like her. That scar represented their children and he would never look at it as ugly. Sanem smiled and touched the side of his face. He gave her a quick kiss and helped her in the shower. Can stripped down, like he did in the hospital, and climbed into the shower behind Sanem. He lathered up her hair and lightly rubbed her scalp. He rinsed her hair and applied her favorite conditioner. Once her hair was finished, he lathered up a cloth and started washing her body. He rinsed all the soap off. He told her to stand still, while he took a quick shower. Sanem said OK. Sanem watched him wash his hair and then wash his body. She would never get enough of looking at his perfect body. He looked like a Greek God. He rinsed himself and shut off the water.

He climbed out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He then helped Sanem out and wrapped her body in a big, fluffy towel. He towel dried her hair and dried her body. He would never get tired of looking at his wife's body. She was perfect to him in every way. He helped her get dressed. He dried himself quickly and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He walked her back to the living area. He asked her what she wanted to do. Sanem said she didn't know. She asked if they could go see their babies later. Can told her that was just what he was thinking. Sanem said can we just sit here for a while and enjoy the peace and quiet. Can said sure. He wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned back against him. He played with her hair and she held one of his hands. She asked Can if he was happy. Can asked her what kind of a question was that. Sanem said she was curious. Can tilted her head up and looked into her eyes. Can told her he has never been this happy in his life. She makes him deliriously happy. His children make him deliriously happy. Their life makes him deliriously happy. Sanem said with a smile, so your delirious? Can laughed and said yep. Can told her they were made for each other. He is delirious and she is crazy. Sanem laughed so hard she winced in pain. She said don't make me laugh. It hurts my incision to laugh.

Later that evening, they returned to the hospital to visit their babies. The doctor was with them in the nursery. He came out to update Can and Sanem. He told them the babies were doing great. All 3 were starting to gain a little weight. If the weight increase continues, they could be released within a week. Sanem was so happy to hear this. The doctor told them if they would put gowns on, they could enter the nursery to hold their babies. Sanem and Can smiled big and both agreed. So, here they were in the nursery. Sanem was holding Deniz and Can was holding Yildiz and Atesh. They were so small, but it felt so good to finally hold their children. All three babies kept their eyes shut. Sanem kept running her hand over Deniz's head. It felt so soft. Can kept looking at his wife and smiling. This felt so right to him. His wife beside him and their children in their arms.