LOOSING HOPE

SANEM AND CAN TALK

Sanem laid in bed that night but could not sleep. She looked over at Can and he was sleeping so peacefully. He had his arm and leg thrown over Sanem. She gently removed herself from the bed without waking up Can. She went outside to sit on the balcony and look at the stars. She just could not wrap her head around being pregnant again. They already had triplets and at times could be a handful. She just didn't know if she could do it again. She knew Can was happy. He had wanted another child. He would have a football team if she agreed. The triplets were not even in school yet. They would be soon after this baby was born. What if she had triplets again? What if it were twins? The tears slowly fell down her face. This was her fault. She never took precautions. Can never took precautions. A part of her wanted another child, but not now. She didn't feel she was ready. She looked to the sky and asked God for forgiveness for the thoughts she was thinking. She curled up on the patio couch and continue looking up at the stars.

Can woke up and realized he was alone in bed. He looked around the room and it was still dark. He got up and padded through the house looking for Sanem. She was not in the house anywhere, but he saw the balcony door ajar. He opened it the rest of the way and walked outside. He found Sanem curled up on the patio couch. She seemed to be looking at the stars, deep in thought. He squatted down beside her and gently touched her face. She looked at her husband. He asked what she was doing out here. She told him she couldn't sleep and was just thinking. Sanem sat up so Can could sit down. Once he was beside her, he put her head into his lap. He gently played with her hair. He asked her what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers. She said she was just thinking about things. Can told her to tell him, please. Sanem told him he would think less of her if she told him. Can told her he would never think less of her. Sanem told him she wasn't sure she was ready for another child. She was scared it would be triplets or even twins this time. She was feeling overwhelmed about it all.

Can told her he knew they were not planning another child, at least not this soon, but it happened anyway. He said everything happens for a reason. He told her he was happy they were having another child, but he understood her hesitation. Can suggested they could hire a nanny to help with the kids. Sanem told him she wasn't happy about that. She didn't want somebody else raising their children. Can told her he did not want her to feel overwhelmed either. He asked her to think about it. Sanem smiled and said she would think about it. He told her to come on. She needed to go back to bed to get rest. Sanem said OK. She just hoped she could fall asleep. Can walked her back to bed and tucked her in. He climbed in on her side and pulled her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest and played with her hair until she fell asleep. Can soon fell asleep along with her.

The next morning, Sanem woke up still laying on Can's chest. He had his arms wrapped around her and was holding her snugly. She kissed his chest and tried to quietly get up. He pulled her back to him and asked where she was going. She smiled at her husband and told him she was going to make breakfast. He told her it was still early; the kids were still sleeping, and it was the weekend. Sanem told him she forgets what day it is sometimes. He told her to lay with him for a while. He felt like holding her a little longer. She reached up and laid her hand on the side of his face; running her hand through his beard. He grabbed her hand and pulled it to his mouth. He kissed the palm of her hand. He told her everything would work out. He promised. Sanem told him she knew. She said last night was just the shock of it all. She laughed and said she married a man with a high sex drive and powerful sperm. Can laughed. He told her that her sex drive was also high. She told him if his powerful sperm caused her to have triplets again, he was getting cut off. Can smiled at her and said really now. He then pulled her up to him and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth. Can told her if he got cut off, it would be bad for her. Sanem told him he was probably right. Can told her he knew he was right. He was always right. Sanem laughed at him.

Can got up a little later and started making breakfast. He was making his omelets. Sanem straightened up the bedroom and made their bed. Soon the kids started coming out of their rooms. All three were hungry, as usual. Can served them his famous omelets and poured them some juice. Sanem started making the kids' beds and picking their rooms up. She then went to start some laundry. Can told her to sit down and eat something. Sanem said she would as soon as she started a load of laundry. She was soon back and sitting down next to Can at the table. She told Can she just wanted tea and toast. She didn't think her stomach could handle eggs this early. Can told her OK. Sanem slowly drank her tea and ate her toast. As soon as the kids were done, they went to their rooms to get dressed for the day. Sanem helped Can clean up the kitchen. He asked her what she wanted to do today. Sanem told him she didn't know. She was still feeling tired. She thought she would just hang out at home today. She asked what he had planned today. Can told her he had nothing planned so he thought about just hanging out at home. Sanem said listen to us. They sounded like a couple of old homebodies. Can laughed at her but agreed.

Sanem sat down with her notebook and began writing. Can picked up a book he had been reading and sat down across from her. The kids came out of their rooms and asked if they could play outside. Can told them yes. He told Ates to stay out of the trees. Ates told his dad OK. Sanem laughed after the kids went outside with Chi Chi, the dog. Can asked what was so funny. Sanem told him he was funny. She asked if he really thought Ates would stay out of the trees. He was his dad made over and she doubted very seriously if he could keep Ates out of the trees. That made Can stand up and go look outside. Sure enough, Ates was starting to climb a tree. Can yelled for him to come in the house. Ates came in with his head down. Can asked him why he disobeyed about the trees. Ates told his dad it was fun and adventurous. Can told him to go to his room and think about why he told him to stay out of the trees. Can turned around and looked at Sanem who had a smile on her face. She said I told you so and laughed.