LOOSING HOPE

IS SANEM GOING CRAZY?

Can drove Sanem to a local clothing store. They needed to purchase a few days' worth of clothes. They could not go back home while the police were still processing the scene of Hakan's death. Can was not taking Sanem or the kids home until Can got somebody to clean that bedroom. They may have to have new carpet put in due to the blood. He didn't care what the cost. He didn't want any reminders of what happened in their bedroom. Can pulled in and parked. He helped Sanem out of the truck. He realized Sanem had not said 2 words since leaving their house a few hours ago. He grabbed her hand and walked with her into the clothing store. Can got what he needed, and they headed to the lady's department. Sanem was still holding his hand but saying not one word. He asked her what clothes she wanted. Sanem just shrugged. Can started picking out clothes for her. Everything she would need for a few days. He headed up front to pay for his purchases. Once everything was paid for, they headed to the truck. Can drove to a local hotel and checked for an available room. They had available rooms, so Can got one for the next few days.

Can grabbed Sanem's hand and carried their belongings up to their room. Can remembered to buy hygiene products also. Can put their purchases on the bed and asked Sanem if she wanted to take a shower. Sanem said nothing, just walked to the bathroom to shower. Sanem stripped off and got into the shower. She washed herself and then rinsed. She sat down in the shower and wrapped her arms around her legs and just cried. She could not stop crying. She rocked herself back and forth. Her sobs grew louder. She could not get what happened out of her head. Hakan was dead. He could no longer make her life miserable. She was safe. She kept telling herself she was safe now and forever. Her unborn son was safe. Can was safe. Her kids were safe. Why could she not stop crying? Can came rushing into the bathroom when he heard her sobs. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel. He helped his wife to stand and then wrapped her in a towel. He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. He gently placed her on the bed and dried her off. He gently dressed her then he brushed her hair. She sobbed the whole time.

Can pulled the bed covers down and laid her on the bed. He covered her up. He climbed in the bed from the other side. He pulled his wife into his arms and held her while she cried. He whispered words of love in her ear. Can held her tightly and until she stopped crying. Can realized she had fell asleep in his arms. He played with her hair until he fell asleep. A little later, Can woke up to an empty bed. He looked around the room, but did not see Sanem. He called her name, but got no answer. He turned on the light in the hotel room and got up. She was not in the bathroom and the hotel door was locked from the inside, so where could she be? He saw the closet door cracked and opened it wider. Sanem was curled up in a ball on the bottom of the closet. Can's heart broke for her. He sat down in front of her and gently called her name. Sanem opened her eyes and looked at her husband. She seemed disoriented and confused. Can smiled at her and asked what she was doing. Sanem quietly said she didn't know. Can helped her out of the closet. He sat down with her on the bed. He told her to talk to him. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. She told him she thought she was going crazy. Can smiled and told her she was far from being crazy. Sanem told him she could not get Hakan out of her mind. Can looked deep into her eyes and told him he was dead and could no longer hurt her or the kids. Sanem said she knew, but he was shot in their home...in their bedroom.

She told Can she keeps asking herself what if. What if he had gotten to her? What if he had gotten to their kids? What if he had gotten to him? What if he had gotten to Omer, Yalin or Cinar? Can told her he didn't get to anyone. Omer got to him first. Sanem told Can she felt so guilty for bringing this psycho into their lives. Can told her she did not bring him into their lives. Hakan situated himself into their lives all on his own. She did nothing wrong. Sanem whispered that she was scared. Can asked her what she was scared of. Sanem asked what if something like this happens again. Can smiled and kissed her cheek. He told her if it happens again, then they would deal with it again together. Sanem smiled at her husband and hugged him. She told him she was sorry. She felt like a crazy person. Can told her she was not crazy. She was just in shock over the whole situation. Can told her it was normal to feel this way. He helped her to her feet and walked her back to bed. He laid down beside her and pulled her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Can ran his fingers through her hair. He told her he loved her and he would be right here beside her. Sanem told him she loved him very much and thanked him. She finally drifted off to sleep. Can stayed awake for a little while, just thinking about everything that had happened. He thanked God that everything worked out for the best and nobody got hurt. He was glad Hakan was permanently gone from their lives. He could no longer hurt his wife or his kids. He ran his fingers through Sanem's hair and kissed the top of her head. He fell asleep holding her in his arms.