LOOSING HOPE

LOVE NEVER FELT SO GOOD

The next morning, the Jet Ski miraculously started. They hopped on and headed back to the beach house. They said very little to each other. Once back at the beach house, Sanem asked him if they could head home. She was ready. Can said OK. So, they packed up the truck and headed back to the farm. Can asked her what she was going to do today. Sanem told him she had been doing a lot of thinking and had come to a few decisions. Can asked her what she had been thinking about. Sanem told him she was leaving the agency. She just couldn't stay there and go through all the jealously again. It was too much for her. She told him there would be attractive female clients who would want to be with him, and she felt she would just be standing in the way. She didn't want to ruin anything for him. She also told him she didn't like herself when she started acting jealous and immature. She told him she also decided to contact the American publisher and see if the 6 month stay in New York was still on the table. But first she wanted to travel to Amsterdam to see Aziz. Can was speechless. Can asked her if she was going to do this alone. Sanem smiled and told him she wasn't a child.

Can was crestfallen. He didn't want her to leave. He was starting to fall in love with this crazy, unique woman. Can asked her to stay. Sanem smiled at him and said she couldn't or she would end up losing her mind again. Can then said let me go with you. Sanem smiled again and told him that would kind of defeat the purpose of leaving. She told him she was giving him his space. Can told her he never asked for space. Sanem said I know, but you need it. The rest of the trip home was made in silence. Can realized he was losing her again. He had to do something.

They pulled into the farm and Sanem thanked him for a nice getaway. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. She left the truck and entered her home. Can watched her walk away. Sanem spent a lot of time in her garden after she got home. She loved working in her garden. She also went to her workshop to work on her creams. It seemed to always relax her. Later that evening, she went outside to sit in her chair by the fire pit. She opened her notebook and began writing. Can watched her from his balcony. He watched the emotions play over her face. She laughed, she cried and then laughed again. He decided to go down and sit by her.

Sanem felt his presence before she saw him. She closed her notebook and looked at him. He told her good evening. Sanem told him good evening. He asked if she was getting any writing done. Sanem smiled and said some. He asked if he could sit with her for a while. Sanem said OK. Can asked her if she was really going to leave. Sanem looked sad and told him it would be for the best. Can told her it wouldn't be for his best. He told her he wanted her to stay. With tears in her eyes, Sanem said she couldn't. It was time to get on with her life. She told him she has held on for too long and it was finally time to let go. Can told her he didn't want her to let go. Sanem told him he really didn't know what he wanted since he lost his memories. She told him he should be happy. He was free to fly again. Can looked into her eyes and told her he didn't want to be free. He wanted her. Tears fell down her face. Sanem told him if that were only true. Can grabbed her hands and looked deep into her eyes. He then told her he wanted her...all of her...right now. Can told her he wanted to be her first. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to prove to her how much he wanted her...how much he desired her. He asked her if she would let him love her. Sanem just stared at him.

She hadn't answered him, so he leaned in and kissed her with all the passion he had in him. He heard Sanem moan, but she wasn't stopping him. She started kissing him back. Without breaking the kiss, Can picked her up in his arms and carried her inside the house. He continued carrying her to her bedroom. He then set her down on the floor. They broke the kiss and just stared at each other. He asked her again if she would let him love her. Sanem nodded yes. Can reached out and untied the straps to her white sundress. The dress pooled to the floor. She was standing there in only her panties. She looked so shy ...so innocent. Can made quick work of his clothes. Now he was standing there just in his boxers. He looked into her eyes and asked her if she sure. She nodded yes again. Can picked her up and placed her on the bed. He then laid down beside her.

Can began kissing her face...her cheeks, her forehead, her eyebrows, her eyes, and her nose. Then made his way down to her neck. He started biting and then licking her neck. Sanem could not lay still. It was like her body had a mind of its own. She started running her hands through his hair and then to his back. He felt so good; so right. Can made his way down to her chest. He couldn't believe how perfect her breasts were. He paid extra close attention to both her breasts. By the time, Sanem was going crazy. He had her so hot. Can removed her panties and now she had no cover at all from Can's eyes. He started kissing her stomach and worked his way down one leg and back up the other leg. He was leaving no skin untouched. She didn't believe he loved her, so he was showing her. He finally removed his last piece of clothing...his boxers. Now he had no barriers left.

Can kissed his way back up her body until he reached her lips. He kissed her with everything he had in him. She opened her mouth so he could have better access. He finally asked her if she was ready. She said yes, please love me, Can. That was all he needed to hear. He slowly entered her. Sanem's eyes went wide. She was not use to this feeling. Can felt the barrier of her innocence. Can told her to look at him. Sanem looked at him. He told her this was going to hurt for a minute or two and asked her if she was ready. She said I am ready and I trust you. He told her to keep looking into his eyes. She continued looking in his eyes. She realized his eyes no longer lacked emotion. His eyes had want, desire and love in them. He really did love her. She smiled at him and nodded for him to go ahead. He took one of her hands in his and pushed forward until he broke through the barrier, then he stopped. He heard Sanem gasp in pain. He stayed still until the pain subsided. He kissed her lips gently and told her how much he wanted her. When she was ready, he pushed in further.

Sanem never felt anything like this before. This felt wonderful and different wrapped into one. She whispered to him she didn't know what to do. Can smiled and told her to do what feels natural to her. Sanem started running her hands over his chest, his arms, his back and then she started kissing the skin she could reach. She would lick, bite and then lick again. Can was loving the feel of her mouth on his skin. He continued to move inside her; increasing his speed. He reached down with his hand to help her reach her peak. Sanem was having these crazy feelings in the pit of her stomach. It was like riding some sort of wave. It got more and more intense. Then finally she was flying without wings. It felt like her heart was going to come out of her chest. Can was watching the expressions on her face and loved it. He reached his peak and spilled into her. He laid there on top of her, trying to catch his breath. He felt her hands rubbing his back. He then moved to the side and pulled her with him. He held her protectively against him.

He felt her tears before he heard her crying. He looked at her face and told her how sorry he was if he hurt her. Sanem told him he didn't hurt her. She said it was wonderful; beautiful; and the best experience she has ever had in her life. She never knew sex could be like that. Can looked deep into her eyes and told her what they she did was not sex. It was making love. He told her as far as he could remember, he had never made love to a woman. It was always just sex for him. This was his first-time making love to a woman. He told her he may not remember loving her in the past two years, but he knew he loved her very deeply now. He then kissed her passionately. He then told her thank you for giving me the honor of being your first. Sanem smiled. Can looked deep into her eyes and then told her, I want to be your last, Sanem. Please give me a chance.