LOOSING HOPE

A SECOND CHANCE FOR A BROKEN HEART

Sanem and Can went to bed....together. Sanem was nervous and trembling. She didn't know why. They had shared sleeping space numerous times, but this felt different. Can didn't remember her. He didn't remember all the times they shared a bed. This would be a first for this Can. Sanem laid down and moved as far over as she could to make room for Can. She even went as far as to put pillows between them. He laughed at her and said he wasn't the enemy. Sanem told him it was to make him comfortable. Sanem laid on her back and Can laid on his side facing her. He told her good-night and she in turn told him the same.

Sometime during the night, Sanem woke up to Can's body pressed tightly against hers. This was all to familiar to her, but it wouldn't be to Can. She turned her head to look at him. She gently touched his hair with her finger. She stared at his closed eyes, his eyebrows, his nose and that perfect mouth. God, how she wanted him to kiss her again. It had been so long. It was like Can knew she was awake and thinking about his lips. He opened his eyes and caught her staring at him. He smiled at her and asked if she liked what she saw. Sanem told him this was weird. He looked like her Can. He talked like her Can. But he wasn't her Can. Can looked at her and told her he was still Can, just a little flawed. She looked into his eyes and told him his eyes were different. They were empty of any emotion. He just stared at her. He asked her if he could kiss her, just to see if it felt the same for her. After a few minutes of thinking, Sanem said that was fine. He slowly looked from her eyes to her mouth and then back again. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. He deepened the kiss and nibbled on her bottom lip. Sanem opened her mouth so he could have full access. The kiss seemed to go on forever. They finally pulled a part. Sanem couldn't seem to open her eyes. Can told her to open her eyes. She did. Can asked her if it felt the same. Sanem smiled and said I don't know. Can we try again? Can smiled and said your wish is my command. He dived into the kiss this time. He actually left her lips and started kissing her cheek. He then started kissing and biting her neck. Sanem moaned with pleasure. Can lifted his head and again asked, does it feel the same? Sanem said it felt the same, but they never went beyond kissing each other's lips.

Can asked her how in the world was he able to control himself around her. He admitted to wanting her with a passion. Sanem looked away and said I don't know. He put his finger under her chin and turned her head around to face him. He told her she was a very attractive woman and any man would definitely want her. She looked sad and said I only ever wanted one man to want me, and he never did. She then got up out of bed and went to the bathroom. She showered and dressed for the day. When she came out of the bathroom, Can went in to shower and change. When he came out, he asked her if she wanted to go jet skiing with him. They could travel to a different beach. She said OK. Can went and rented a jet ski. He told Sanem to wear her bathing suit. Sanem came out of the beach house a short time later. She had on her bathing suit with a cover up. They hopped on the jet ski and headed to a different island. Can pulled the jet ski up onto the beach and they hopped off. They explored the little beach. Sanem picked flowers for her creams and collected seashells. They spent the day there. Sanem asked him if they could back to the beach house. He said of course. He went to the jet ski and secretly disabled it. He lied and told Sanem it wouldn't start. They would have to spend the night there and call for help in the morning. Sanem said we can't stay here. Where would we sleep? Can told her not to worry he would take care of everything.

It started getting chilly and all Sanem had on was a bathing suit and a cover up. Can told her to come here and she did. He wrapped his arms around her to give her some of his body heat. She told him it felt like the time their friends locked them in a freezer. Can gave her a blank stare. She said I am sorry. I forgot you don't remember. She looked Can in the eyes and told him she had something to say to him. He told her to go on. Sanem told him she was very glad he survived the accident. That is all she wanted. Even though you don't remember me, I am glad you didn't die, she said. Can looked into her eyes and told her it felt like he had died, since he can't remember her. Sanem told him she had something of his. She pulled her necklace up out of her shirt. She then pulled the necklace over her head. It was the moonstone ring that Can proposed to her with. She removed the ring and laid it in Can's hand. She told him it was no longer hers and wanted to return it. She said maybe you will find your one true love in the future and can give her this very ring. When the ring was in his palm, he had a memory of making this ring with one of his broken moonstones.

He pulled out his stones and asked Sanem if these were his original stones. She told him no. She had dropped the moonstone and it broke. Her parents got him a new set for his birthday. She asked why? He said I had a memory of making this ring out of a broken moonstone. Sanem smiled and told him he made the ring for her and proposed on his birthday. Can tried to hand it back to her. He said I made it for you, so the ring belongs to you. Sanem told him she no longer needed it. She told him it helped her get through the roughest of times, so it might help him too. Can placed it deep inside his pocket.

Can went to gather stuff to make a fire so they could get warm. Once the fire was blazing, they sat around the fire. Can asked Sanem to sit beside him. They could share body heat as well. So, she slowly rose and sat down beside him. Can asked her if she could tell him a little about their life together. Sanem said it was all in the book. Can told her he knew most of it from the book but was pretty everything wasn't written in there. Sanem told him everything. She told him they met at the 40th anniversary party for the agency. Even though they never actually saw each other. She told him about being a spy for Embre which caused them to break up the first time. She told him about selling her fragrance to Fabri to get him out of jail, which caused their second break up. She told him about the time he kidnapped her and took her to the mountains, so they could talk. She told him it was because of her that he ran away for a year. He thought she didn't believe him or trust him any longer. She admitted to believing Yigit over him. She told him about her stay in the mental hospital when she had her break down. She told him how they made up after he returned from being away for a year. She talked almost all night. Can listened intently.

After she grew quiet, Can thanked her for telling him. Can realized he was falling deeply in love with her again. He just couldn't loose her all over again. He had to think of something to get her to give him another chance. She was just so fragile and hurt right now. He didn't know what to do. He wished he could snap his fingers and all his memories come back.