LOOSING HOPE

COMMUNICATION IS A GOOD THING

Can fell to the floor to his knees. She was gone. Sanem left him so easily and took their children with her. Where could she have gone? Why didn't she let him explain those pictures in the gossip magazine? Did she really stop loving him? Is this what she was waiting for? He immediately called the Aydin's to see if the Sanem and the kids were there. Mevkibe told Can she hadn't heard from Sanem today. Maybe she was with Leyla. Can called Leyla and Leyla told him she saw her at the office early this morning but left rather quickly. She hadn't heard from her since. Can hung up. He then called Mihriban. Mihriban told Can she promised to not tell him where she was. She could not break that promise to Sanem. Can told her he wanted his wife and kids. Mihriban told him she was sorry. She informed Can she saw the magazine cover and it was pretty convincing. Can told her it was not true. He would never cheat on his wife. He loved her with everything in him. Mihriban was almost in tears. She hated that this was happening between Sanem and Can. She told Can to stop by the farm and that was all she telling him. She hung up. She prayed she was doing the right thing.

Can jumped in his truck and headed to the farm. Mihriban stopped by Sanem's house. Sanem asked if she would sit with the triplets while she took a walk. She needed to clear her head. Mihriban told her of course. Sanem headed to the pier. It used to be her safe haven. She would sit and talk to the sea. She sat there with her feet dangling over the edge. She cried and cried. She cried for the loss of her marriage. She cried for the loss of Can's love. She cried for the mess her life was in. Once she started, she just couldn't stop crying. Can had pulled into the driveway of the farm. He went to Sanem's old house. Mihriban was there with the triplets. Can kissed and hugged his kids. He asked Mihriban where Sanem was. Mihriban said she went for a walk to clear her head. Can knew immediately where she was. He headed to the pier.

Sanem was still sitting there crying her heart out and begging the sea for answers. Can located her as soon as he came upon the pier. He stood there for a while and just watched her. Her head was down, so he knew she was crying. God, how did it come to this? Why couldn't she see that he loved her? She was his heart....his half....his everything. He only wanted her and nobody else. He slowly walked towards her. She was so engrossed with her sorrow, she never heard him. He slowly sat down beside her. Sanem looked over at him and started to get up. He told her no. He asked her to please sit here with him. Sanem reluctantly sat back down. Can asked her if she stopped loving him? Sanem said she should be asking him that question. Can said he would answer it. He will never stop loving her. Never. She was his everything. Sanem told him he couldn't have her and Ayca. It just doesn't work that way. Can told her he didn't want Ayca. He never did. He ran into her on his freelance assignment. She ordered a drink while standing beside him. That was it. He told her he left shortly after that and went back to his room alone. He asked her when she stopped trusting him. She said when she saw that picture. Can told her it was before that. She started sleeping on the couch and stopped sharing their bed with him.

Sanem told him he stopped touching her...making love to her...talking to her. She told him he fell out of love with her a while back. Sanem then told him he suddenly wanted to travel and do freelance work again. It was like he was putting distance between him and her. She told him it felt like he was bored with married life and wanted excitement. Sanem told him he was an albatross and she refused to lock him in a cage. That is why she supported his decision to freelance. She refused to be the reason he was held back. So, she decided to leave and come back to the farm. He now did not have to feel suffocated or tied down anymore.

Can just stared at her. He told Sanem he has never felt tied down...not once in their whole marriage. He told her she has never made him feel suffocated. He told her he was doing the freelance work for extra money because the agency had very little business at this time. He told her he gets all the excitement he needs just being with her and the kids. Can told her his life was far from boring. He told as for not making love to her, he was afraid. Sanem just stared at him. She asked of what. He told her when they were on the camping trip and made love in the hammock, she was in pain after that. He told her he knew now it was her appendix, but he blamed himself. Would her appendix had ruptured if he hadn't forced the hammock on her? When he found her unconscious on their bedroom floor, he thought he lost her. When he found out what had happened, he blamed himself. He actually thought making love to her caused of that. Sanem stared at him in shock.

She told him making love to her did not cause her appendix to rupture. How could he even think that? Can said he didn't know. He said he has wanted to touch her more than anything but was afraid to. So, he kept his distance from her. He didn't want to hurt her again. He held her hands and she let him. He told her he never stopped loving her and never would. She was his everything and he didn't want to ever be without her. He asked how she could even think he would cheat on her. He told her she was the only one for him...now and forever. Sanem was crying again. She asked Can how could she be so stupid. Can embraced her and told her she was definitely not stupid. Can told her they had this problem in past. They could never seem to communicate with each other. Sanem told him they really needed to work on that. Can told her they definitely did. He leaned over and kissed her deeply. Sanem opened her mouth so he could go deeper. When Can lifted his head, he said he missed this and her. She said she did too. Can asked her if they could go back home. Sanem told him yes. She could not think of any place she would rather be.

They walked back to Sanem's old house, hand in hand. Mihriban was smiling at them when they walked in. Sanem told Mihriban she was going back home, where she belonged. Mihriban said thank goodness. The triplets were excited to go back home to their own bedrooms. Can helped Sanem load up all their clothes into the truck. Sanem loaded the triplets up in the min van and followed her husband back home. Once home, Can unloaded their clothe and Sanem unloaded the kids. Sanem hung all the clothes back up while Can started the kids' baths. When the kids were bathed and dressed for bed, Can and Sanem tucked them in for the night. Can and Sanem went to their bedroom. Sanem sat on the bed and Can sat down beside her. Sanem said it felt good to be back home. Can told her she was only gone one day. Sanem said it was one day to long. Can laughed.

Can pushed Sanem back on the bed. He laid down beside her. She asked him what he was doing. Can said he was planning on making love to his wife all night long. He asked if she had any objections. Sanem kissed him, smiled and said she had not one objection.