LOOSING HOPE

THE LONG HOSPITAL STAY

The next morning, Sanem woke up in her hospital bed with Can still beside her. She reached over and ran her hand down his beard. He woke up and smiled at her. He told her good morning and asked how she was feeling. She told him good morning and that she was feeling good. She slept very well in his arms. Sanem told him she wanted to go check on her babies. He helped her into her wheelchair and pushed her to the nursery window. All 3 of their babies were still asleep. Sanem felt they were so tiny. The nurse came out of the nursery and gave Can and Sanem an update on their babies. She told them they slept pretty good during the night. They are not eating very much, but that is common in premature infants. They all still remain a little underweight. But are doing well otherwise. Sanem thanked her for the update. Can pushed her back to her room.

Sanem was very quiet on the trip back to her room. Can asked her where her pretty little head was. Sanem looked at him with tears in her eyes. She asked Can if their babies were going to make it. Can embraced her and told her not to think like that. Their babies ere fighters just like her and him. They are going to be fine. Sanem told him she keeps asking herself what if. Can told her to stop. It was an accident. Nothing more. He knew she did everything in her power to protect their babies. He told her to stop blaming herself. This was not her fault. It was beyond her control. Sanem gave him a little smile. He helped her back into her bed and sat down in the chair beside her bed. Sanem told him to go home and get some rest. She knew he must be hungry. Can looked her straight in the eyes and told her if you stay, then I stay. If you leave, then I leave. Sanem laughed at him. She told him he was so stubborn. Can told her yep but she still loved him anyway. Sanem told him until the end of their days.

The doctor came in to check Sanem over. Her head was healing nicely, and her c-section area looked good. Sanem asked him when she could go home. The doctor said it may be another day or two, depending on her progress. Sanem was disappointed but said OK. The doctor left. Can told her to cheer up. They had to make sure she was going to be OK before sending her home. Sanem said I know. I just want to be in my own house with you and our babies. Can said look at it this way. I am here with you and the babies are just down the hall. So, you still have all of us with you. Sanem smiled and told him he always knew what to say to cheer her up. Can smiled and said don't you forget it.

He asked Sanem if there was anything, he could bring her from home. Sanem said yes. She told him to bring her notebook, her cream, her hygiene stuff and her own pajamas. She was tired of her rear end hanging out. Can laughed hard on that one. He told her he actually preferred this gown because she had a nice rear end. Sanem just stared at him. She told him it figures he would make a comment about her rear end. Can told her he would leave her just for a short time. He would run home and get the things she has requested. Sanem said OK. Can gave her a quick kiss and left.

Can drove back to their house. He collected the things that Sanem wanted. He made himself a bite to eat while he was home. He didn't even realize how hungry he was. He also took a long hot shower and changed his clothes. He was starting to feel gross wearing the same clothes. When he was done, he hopped into his truck and headed back to the hospital. He stopped along the way at a roadside flower shop and bought his wife some flowers. Maybe the flowers would cheer her up about having to stay in the hospital. Can continued on to the hospital. When he got to the hospital, he parked and got out of his truck. He grabbed Sanem's bag and the flowers. He headed into the hospital to be with his wife.

When he got to her room, she had a roomful of visitors. Her family, his family and their friends from the agency. Sanem seemed to be happier now that she had visitors. Can walked over and gave her a quick kiss. He handed her the flowers. She smiled brightly and thanked him. Each of her visitors slowly left until it was just Can and her. He sat on the edge of the bed. He asked her if she was tired. Sanem admitted she was but asked him if he would lie with her until she fell asleep. Can told her of course. Sanem moved over to make room for him. He put one arm under her head and wrapped the other one around her. He was facing her. For a while, they just stared into each other's eyes. Sanem's eyes slowly closed and after a few minutes she was breathing deeply. Can continued to lay with her, holding her and watching her sleep. He could stare at her forever. Evidently, Can's eyes closed, and he fell asleep along side her.

After a 2-hour nap, they both woke up. They continued laying there in each other's arms. They were content and didn't want to move. Sanem asked Can if he would help her shower. She felt dirty and needed to wash. Can told her of course and he went to ask the nurse if it was OK. The nurse had to wrap a waterproof binder around her staples from the c-section. They could not get wet. Once that was done, Can walked her to the shower. He helped Sanem remove her gown. She stepped into the shower once the water was warm enough. Can locked the bathroom door and stripped off. He walked into the shower with Sanem. Sanem realized he was behind her and asked him what he was doing. He told her it would be easier to help if he was in the shower with her. He lathered up her hair with her own shampoo. He used his fingers and massaged her scalp. Once done, he helped her rinse her hair. He then lathered up a cloth and started washing her. He washed her from head to toe. He then helped her rinse. Can got out of the shower, dried off and threw his clothes back on. He then helped Sanem get out of the shower. He wrapped her in a towel and worked on towel drying her hair. Once dry, Can helped her dress in one of her own pajamas. He then walked her back into the room. She sat in a chair and Can brushed her hair and applied her cream to her arms and neck. Sanem told him she felt like a princess and could get use to this treatment. Can laughed and told her he would do this for her anytime.

Once she was done, Can pushed her in the wheelchair down to the nursery to see their babies. All 3 babies where in the arms of 3 different nurse. They were being bottle fed. Sanem wanted so much to breastfeed, but considering the circumstances, she was not able too. All 3 babies seem to be eating very well. Can and Sanem left the babies to their feedings and returned to her room. Can asked her if she wanted to go for a walk outside. Sanem smiled and said yes. Can stopped and asked the nurse if he could take Sanem for a walk outside. The nurse told him that was fine.

Can pushed her around outside. Sanem was enjoying breathing the fresh air. Can parked at a bench and sat down. He was enjoying watching his wife smile. She loved the outdoors. They sat there for a while just enjoying the outdoors. Neither spoke much, but they did glance at each other from time to time. Evidently, they returned to Sanem's room. Can helped her back into bed. She asked him for her notebook. Can handed it to her. She immediately began writing in her book. Can got out the book he brought and settled in the chair beside her bed. He read his book, while she wrote in her notebook.