𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 | 𝐤.𝐤 ✓

•26~ The truth is now spilled...•

A/N: I'm very sorry... You may or may not have figured it out, buuut...

⚠️This chapter contains a jealous purple haired ghoul! You have been warned!⚠️

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{Touka's POV}

"WHAT!?"

I hung my head low in shame as Irimi stood above me, a shocked and disappointed look clear on her face.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, a single tear sliding down my cheek.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" She yelled in pure frustration.

To be honest, I didn't blame her. I'm even mad at myself.

About three minutes ago, I told Irimi the truth as to why I acted the way I did...

There was no was in hell that I'd be able to tell Y/n.

She'd literally rip me to shreds!!!

"I-i don't know..." I whispered, bending my head down lower.

That's a lie. You do know, Touka!!!

I groaned and grabbed my hair in frustration and confusion.

Damn feelings!!!!

I heard Irimi sigh, as if telling herself to calm down, and that everything would be okay.

I couldn't help but to feel guilt. So much guilt.

We are planning Y/n's wedding here! I can't tell her! I can't, I won't, I can't!

I can't...

I won't...

I can't...

My thoughts ran wild as the cold tears suddenly rushed down my face.

I just sat on my sofa, head between my knees, sobbing until my heart hurt. I didn't think it was possible that my heart could hurt anymore than it did.

The truth was...

I loved Kaneki.

I loved him ever since he joined Anteiku, but then when Y/n joined, I could immediately tell that they were ment to be together.

I must admit, I was a bit jealous, but I just decided to push my feelings down so I wouldn't upset them.

Over time, I've accepted the face that they are deeply in love. Nothing can tear them apart. They are practically attached to eachother.

And I don't blame them.

I wish I had a relationship like that.

A nice happy, relationship.

I really shouldn't be jealous. I should be happy, I mean...

One of my best friends is finally getting married to the man of her dreams! Isn't that a good thing? Something amazing to celebrate?

No...

Because it feels like my heart is being torn apart once again.

I don't know what it is, but there is just something aching in my heart whenever I see Y/n and Kaneki together. Something that grows and grows and grows overtime.

I hate it!!!!

Why do I have to love him!?

Why do I have to hurt my friends like this!?

If I tell Y/n, she'll hate me! She will feel disappointed, and I don't blame her!

Right now, I just wish the floor would swallow me up and take me to a peaceful place.

Or even kill me, because I definitely deserve it.

I'm a ghoul.

I kill people for fun and survival.

I love my best friends fiancé.

I can't control my anger.

I should just die.

It's not like anyone would care, right?

"Touka?" Irimi's somehow calm voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Y-yeah?" I replied, quickly wiping away the tears that were attached to my eyelashes before slowly moving my head up to meet Irimi's soft gaze.

"Hey, it's okay." Irimi smiled, now sitting next to me on my sofa.

I sighed and turned to her. "No, it's not."

"We can't help who we fall in love with." Irimi commented, holding out her arms as a smile pulled at her lips.

I took no time at all to fall into her warm arms, pulling her closer to me.

My face was burried in her chest as her arms were wrapped around my back.

I clutched onto her shirt and allowed myself to sob. She didn't mind.

Irimi was great...

She's always there whenever you need her, and goes out of her way to make others feel happy, even when she's the one feeling sad.

I don't know what I'd do without her.

The black haired ghoul hushed me multiple times and ran her fingers through my dark purple locks, making me sniffle and calm down a bit.

"Hey, it will all be okay," Irimi said with another smile, "But you must tell Y/n."

My head immediately shot up at her statement.

"What?" I gasped.

Irimi looked at me dead in the eye. "You heard me... You must tell Y/n."

"Why?" I asked, my grip on her shirt tightening.

"Because if you keep it bottled up inside of you, it will only make you feel worse." Irimi explained with a small, sad sigh.

I watched as the sigh escaped her lips.

"I can't tell her..." I whispered.

"And why not? She won't hate you." Irimi said.

"Irimi-San... We're planning her wedding here, I can't just tell her that I'm in love with the man she's about to marry! Also, the incident that happened last night? I don't want us to fight anymore." I explained, tears now threatening to spill.

Irimi looked at me for a while before cupping my cheeks, making me look into her eyes.

She wiped away the tears that were falling down my face before pulling me into another hug.

We stayed like that for a few hours.