Zero

Chapter 11

Molly's POV

"I got dinner!" I call as soon as the front door slams closed. I jump up from the couch, moving over to greet Felix, "It's pizza. Your favorite." He just nods and hangs his jacket up. "Fine!" I give in, "You win, Felix. You win. Scream at me. Yell. Tell me how badly I fucked up. I'm ready for the lecture. Hit me with your best shot." I follow him into the kitchen.

"I don't have anything to say."

"Felix, come on," I urge, "Don't be like this."

"Molly, I'm not doing this."

"I know you're mad at me for sleeping with Calum. I get it-"

He slams his water bottle down on the counter, startling me, "No, you don't fucking get it, Molly. You don't. And I'm not gonna sit here and yell at you and play this stupid little game of yours just so you can ignore everything I say to you before you run off and go fuck Calum again, claiming that it'll be the last time, that you get it, that you just love him so fucking much and just can't stay away. I'm not gonna sit here and waste my breath on a lost cause."

I take a step back, shocked by his words. Rage starts to burn in me a moment later.

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about. I think I know Calum better than you."

He scoffs at me, "Oh please. That was undoubtedly true five years ago, but that was before you died. You don't know shit about any of them now."

"That's not true at all!"

"Oh really? So did you go over to Luke's house to do fucking wellness checks on them every goddamn night? Did you see Luke and Calum both sobbing on the floor in the bathroom with Michael and Ashton trying to be strong and console them while Sierra, Crystal, and KayKay tried to calm each other and Zara? Did you see them at your funeral when Luke couldn't even stand up or read what he wrote? Did you see your mom and dad have to put aside their own mourning processes in order to be strong for Luke, even though they just lost their second daughter? Did you hear Luke scream at news reports on Blaze with pure hatred in his voice, claiming that she only wanted to steal Psyche's legacy? Did you have to go knock on Luke's door and tell Calum that his fiancee was now dead, that she fucking blew up in building, trying to save someone, that he was now a single dad with a newborn daughter right after he had been held as a hostage for months? Did you watch him scream for you on the front porch, nearly overwhelmed with guilt because of the lie you just told that wrecked his life? Did you have to suck it up and go inside the house to tell your parents their daughter died in an explosion she shouldn't have even been close to considering she was on maternity leave and was only helping out because she's a good person? Did you hear Luke, Jack, and Ben scream and see them fall to the ground when they heard their sister just died, that they no longer have any sisters? Do you lie to Calum every single fucking week when he drops his daughter off so that your best friend can be selfish and spend time with her  daughter? Have you fucking lived for the past five goddamn years with unbelievable guilt, knowing you ruined so many peoples' lives by fucking lying to them because your best friend is a superhero and has to be fucking dramatic and won't realize the damage she's done and is still doing?" I stare at him, speechless. Felix is breathing heavily. His face red, and his hands are curled into fists.

"Felix," my voice cracks, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I know," he snaps, "I know you don't know. You don't think of other people's feelings, Molly. You never have."

"I-"

"I'm not mad," he lies, "It's just who you are as a person. You're so selfless, but also selfish as fuck. I've tried for years, Molly, to help you realize this, but I can't anymore. I'm always gonna be your best friend. I'm always gonna be here for you, Molly. But I'm done with being your conscience. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna head to bed. My head is pounding." I nod and watch silently as he disappears into his room, the door closing behind him.