Kiri(Baku?)Kami I probably won't finish

Chapter Nineteen

We were all pretty much tired by midnight (Bakugo was falling asleep every five minutes). Shinso and Mina had yet to switch their dorms out, so they decided to try and do that tomorrow. While they were figuring that out, the rest of us were going to bed.

Denki and I decided to sleep together. A/N: I realize that you just read what you did but please get your mind out of the gutter. We ended up in my room just cuz. Once we were all changed and ready to sleep, we crawled in together.

He wrapped his arms and legs around me, like a koala. His hair was super fluffy, brushing up against my face with every breath.

It took my tired brain a moment to realize why it was taking me awhile to fall sleep. "Denks, I gotta turn the lights off," I mumbled. "Can't sleep."

"Please don't," he replied, his voice muffled by my shirt. "I don't think I could sleep in the total darkness. I haven't been able to in the infirmary because I kept having nightmares or I just wasn't able to sleep at all because I was getting paranoid," he admitted. "I'm uh... I'm scared."

I took a second to absorb that. It made sense, I guess. The villains had gotten in so easily somehow, right under our noses. Even though they were captured now, I was sure news would've gotten out about most of the details. Other potential baddies were sure to realize it was possible.

"Alright, then," I nodded, finally returning the embrace and giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"Sorry," he mumbled sleepily. I started running my fingers through his hair.

"Don't apologize, Denks. I don't mind," I whispered.

"Hmmkay..." he was already falling asleep.

—

We woke up around nine, with the sun peeking through the curtains and shining in our eyes.

I yawned, stretching a little. I didn't want to get up, it was so cozy and warm and Denki was too freaking adorable. He had moved a little farther from me in his sleep, but that was fine because now I could see his face. He looked so peaceful, I almost didn't want the moment to end.

He stirred a little, his eyes fluttering open halfway. I didn't bother hiding that I was staring at him, so he and I just watched each other for awhile, eyes roaming over each others' features, memorizing every detail. There was a little smile playing on his lips.

I really want to kiss him. I wanted to. But the other side of my mind was ruining it for me. You just don't want to admit that everything you're doing with him is to get over Bakugo. These aren't real feelings. You're trying to convince yourself, but it's never going to work.

I sighed, flipping onto my back. The magic was over.

"Something wrong, Ei?" Denki asked me. I shook my head, not looking at him at first.

Then when our eyes met again, I couldn't not tell him what I was thinking. "The head voice just... I felt a little weird about it." I sat up, frowning.

"Was I being—" he started to ask, but I shook my head again.

"It's not you. I like you. I think? I really want to like you," I sighed exasperatedly. "But the back of my head just keeps telling me it's fake and that I'm just using you."

"It doesn't feel that way to me, if it helps," he offered. "I mean, last night you helped me actually sleep. Which was a nice change. Speaking of which, how'd you sleep? You said you couldn't with the lights on."

"I slept fine," I answered off-handedly before returning to the subject. "But I'm serious, Denks, it just keeps coming back. I'll be genuinely enjoying your company, having fun or just feeling good or anything. And the instant I think, 'I want to kiss him,' or something along those lines, my brain just shuts me down. I can't help it, Denki, and it's driving me crazy because I just wish I could do it all right."

"I know," he moved to take my hand, but I pulled back, holding it to my chest. His breath caught, but didn't push it and let his hand fall limply back into his lap. "I know."

"I'm sorry I'm being so impossible," I apologized. "I just don't want my brain to be saying I'm fucking everything up every time I breathe in your direction." I paused before sliding off the bed. "Wanna get some food?"

Denki nodded. "Yeah, let's go. Bakugo's gonna be annoyed we're taking so long," he laughed halfheartedly.

"Aw, he can't do anything," I joked, but the weight of my earlier words settled between us like a wall as we walked to the common room.