Kiri(Baku?)Kami I probably won't finish

Chapter Forty-Nine

"I was the traitor. I didn't want to be, I swear, and I know things are getting fixed now but everything that happened in the first place is my fault—"

"Denki, slow down," I said quickly. He was visibly sorry, so extremely guilty and upset, that I didn't have the heart to be mad about the confession. However shocked, and even hurt I was, I knew I had to stay by his side. I took in a deep breath, taking both of his hands. "Let's talk about it on our way to school. We can't be late," I gave him a weak smile. He just looked even closer to tears.

"R-right," he sniffed, nodding, and followed me out my door. On our way to the train station, I gave him all the time he needed to collect his thoughts and explain himself. "I was the traitor. At first. Like at the USJ and the summer camp. That was it, I didn't tell them a thing after that," he started to speak again, even quieter now that there were other people near us. "It started when I got kicked out of my house. I lived on the streets, basically. And Shigaraki... found me. It was just before school started. He asked me about some stuff, acting nice, and offered me a place to live with him. I was so scared and alone then, I had to accept it.

"So when I told him I was gonna go to UA, he... well, that was when he first showed me his quirk, and I knew I had made a massive mistake. After we started the school year, though, he kept threatening me, and eventually got so close to disintegrating me that I gave in and told him where training at the USJ would be and who would be there and stuff. It was so totally selfish," he clenched his fist by his side. "A real hero would never give into something like that. He didn't even do anything to me, I was just scared of him."

"Denki, I think you're being a little hard on yourself..." I tried to reassure him, but he finally looked at me, and tears started streaming down his face.

"Don't do that," he said through uneven breaths. "Don't give that to me. Don't make it seem like I wasn't in the wrong because I was. Nothing would've happened to anyone if I had just kept my stupid mouth shut." I shut up after that and let him finish. He ran a hand through his hair. "And it's even worse because for the summer camp, I just... told him. I didn't want him to get so close to me again, to make me feel so powerless to save myself... I even failed the final exam on purpose because I knew that chances were, they'd attack us while I was safe someplace else. I..." He had to stop walking to wipe away his tears. "After that, they put us in the dorms and I lost all my contact with Shigaraki. I was so relieved to get away from him, but now that guilt is so bad that I can't even breath," he sobbed.

"Denki, I don't know what you want to hear from me," I said cautiously, then pulled him into a hug. He flinched upon the physical contact, but didn't try to get away from me. "But... if it's worth anything, I don't blame you. And I mean it. I'm not just saying that so that you feel better, either. And I can keep it a secret, if you want," I offered, but he shook his head.

"No. It shouldn't be a secret. From anyone. I don't deserve that." He sighed shakily. "We should tell Kat first. Him and Midoriya. I hurt them both so much..."

"You didn't do anything that could've hurt Midoriya, though, right? You said this time wasn't because of you," I tilted my head just as we got to the train station.

"Right. I mean, the fight with Muscular at summer camp got both his arms broken... Anyway, no matter how much I hurt who and when, we should go to the hospital after class," he said, holding the door open for me.

"You sure?"

"Y-yeah. I gotta tell 'em anyway. Better sooner than later," he decided, nodding.

Our ride to school was pretty much silent. He clutched my hand like I was a lifeline, and I didn't want to have to let go of him. He was carrying a lot; forced into giving our class away. Not even that, but he lived with them. I had the feeling there was still a lot he had to let off his shoulders, but I wouldn't press him now.