Kiri(Baku?)Kami I probably won't finish

Chapter Sixty-Five

Kirishima POV:

It was late that same night, and as usual, we all gathered collectively in Denki's room to go to sleep.

Just as we started changing, I finally noticed what 'Suki was wearing. "You put on those jeans," I observed.

"Yeah, see, you didn't die," 'Suki rolled his eyes, smirking slightly.

"Only 'cuz your sweater goes down to your knees," I pouted.

"It's cozy," he replied in his defense.

"It's mine, technically," Denks put his two cents in, but we both ignored it. After all, he had offered us his clothes in the first place.

So once we were all in comfy clothes, although I questioned internally how they both insisted upon wearing long sleeves since it was so hot in here already, we got into bed together. I supposed that the long sleeves made sense for 'Suki, since he was freshly insecure about earlier today, but I still thought that Denki was crazy.

Eh, he wasn't as dumb as he looked. He might have his own reasons beyond being a dumbass.

However, none of us were really tired enough to fall asleep just yet.

So Denki tried to strike up a conversation. "So, how are you guys both doing? Just outta curiosity."

"What does that mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Like, starting with me, I still don't think I could sleep in the dark, but I'm over the paranoia and now it's really just 'cuz I'm too used to sleeping with the light on," he explained.

I nodded, then thought for a second. "Well, my brain doesn't tell me that every other thing I do is totally wrong or destructive or that I should kill myself, so that's nice."

"I feel like I've missed something here," 'Suki admitted. That's right, I never told him about my mental shit because of his getting together with Midoriya...

"Well, we've got time," I decided. I mean, he probably wouldn't appreciate being left in the dark now that he's aware that I had something going on. "Right when you and Deku got together, my mind started telling me shit, like how I probably fucked something up or that I wasn't good enough for you.

"Then I started spending time alone with Denki, and that entire crush before we got together was a wild ride because that little voice was even worse then. It said shit about how I didn't even care about him and any time I got close to him I was using him for my own pleasure to get over you." I sighed. "I mean, to be fair, when my mind decided to mention suicide, I never gave it any real thought. It was just an annoying thing that crossed and I'd just get mad at myself for even entertaining the idea and... well, it was a bit of an endless cycle. But now I'm alright," I concluded, finally looking over at his face to see his reaction to my little monologue. I was afraid he would take the story as me blaming him for my problems, which was far from the truth.

As I had thought, he looked a little guilty, and I immediately felt bad. "I didn't mean to make it sound like it was your fault," I added on.

"I know. You're not the type of person who would feel that way, anyway. Honestly, I just feel guilty that I didn't know about any of it. How could I not have known that you felt so shitty about everything? I miss out on a lot, huh?" He asked neither of us in particular.

"It's not like it was something I proclaimed at the top of my lungs," I offered. "Don't feel bad about not being able to tell because I made an effort to not show anyone in the first place and that's not fair to yourself."

He was quiet for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, you're right. I know you are." We lay there for a little while longer in silence, holding each other loosely because it was hot and they had a lot of clothes on. "Well, uh... I guess I'm better than I was. While I was with... well, I guess I was with Toga. Which is still weird to think about. Anyway, I'm feeling better than I was then. I don't think I'm a piece of shit in the sense that she made me believe, and a couple of the scars are fading away almost completely," he mumbled. "Still feel all-around shitty in general, though. There's just... I'm a little fucked up," he admitted, and I tightened my embrace around him just a little so that he knew that I, at least, would be here. Denki followed suit.

"That's okay," he said, as if on cue. "It sucks to say it out loud, sure. But it's all gonna be okay."

Together, we drifted into sleep, and I felt good for the first time in a long time. I was sure there was more I had to learn about these guys, and I still had a bit to tell them about myself, but that wasn't right now. For now, we were all too tired to keep our eyes open.

~Fin~