Force Destiny

Kamino

Kylo closed his eyes and breathed in the cool, fresh oxygen from a real planet's atmosphere. A strong wind whipped his cape and refreshed his senses. There was no artificial gravity, no recycled air, no confining corridors. There were real day and night cycles, weather to encounter, beautiful scenery to witness. The Force was alight with life and energy. There was something unfurling inside him – something that he had believed long dead – that made him feel almost... weightless. Kylo had forgotten how different he felt when he was on-world. He figured it was the most like coming home he would ever feel, if he'd actually had a home in the first place.

The only disappointment, the most significant in his opinion, was this planet was missing the warmth of a sun. Clouds consumed its light, keeping its warmth prisoner. That, and the endless durasteel platforms that suspended the entire civilization above the planet's aquatic surface. He could never escape durasteel, it seemed. Terrain under his boots was an unnecessary distraction in battle, but in the rare moment where he could appreciate a world for what it was, he craved it. He wished he had been able to feel it again.

Kylo opened his eyes to stare out at what the world had to offer as Blue chirped brightly next to him. The last time he had been on world –unless Starkiller counted as a planet – he had been sharply focused on retrieving the map. He had never had the chance to feel grounded – if only for a moment. And in the great complexity of the universe, as his destiny swiftly advanced upon him, a moment standing on durasteel under the clouds was all he had. It wasn't perfect, not quite, but it was all he had.

With Sidious in his head, he would never have bothered to partake in the trivial pleasures that being on world had to offer. Monsters didn't enjoy the beauty of worlds like this; they destroyed them. But he allowed himself, if just for one moment, to pretend there was something more for him out there other than the emptiness of the inside of a destroyer. He had become part of that ship, merely a cog in the war machine he helped create. He had become the mimicking reflection that was under Sidious' control. He always had been, he always would be, but he refused to live out the rest of his short life in a self-imposed prison of durasteel. With a moment away from the gravity of the war, he contemplated his role in the galaxy, his role in the bond, his vision, and his own existence.

He had only been on world for a few hours, but his mission was complete. The command shuttle loomed before him, mockingly, ready to whisk him back to his responsibilities aboard the Finalizer. The weakness inside him begged not to go back. It begged him to see that there was nothing for him there. Maybe it was right.

If he returned, Hux would continue with his plan for Force Destiny, and though he doubted his general could find the Resistance, Sidious could. He couldn't sit by and let them bring his former master back, he couldn't allow him in his head again. Sidious would destroy everything worth living for until he begged for the mercy death. Rey would fall.

Unless... you're no longer there, he thought. Was it his thought? Perhaps it was the darkness or remnants of Sidious' influence. Perhaps it was the Cosmic Force.

Whatever it was, it was right. If there was no one stopping Hux's ascension to the Throne, then he would never allow Sidious to return. Rey would be safe. Kylo could disappear, fly with Blue to the Unknown Regions, find an inhabitable planet, live in solitude as his uncle had done, let the galaxy live in peace, until he died in insignificance.

Why wait that long?

Kylo couldn't think of a single rebuttal.

"Go get her fired up, Blue," he said, nudging the droid toward the command shuttle. His voice broke on the droid's name, and it wasn't until that moment that he realized how the obnoxious astromech had grown on him. It was more difficult to say goodbye than he expected, so he didn't. Blue hesitated for a moment, almost as if he could understand the change in his emotions, but he ultimately left, beeping joyfully to himself as he went. The ghosts in his mind were loud, screaming for penance; they demanded a worthless life in exchange for the costly ones he'd taken.