Force Destiny

Admission

"Ben! Come back!" Rey gasped, and her eyes shot open. Blinking rapidly as the ceiling of the Millennium Falcon came into focus. A pair of hands helped her sit up, and she turned to find her friend. "Rose?"

Before she could ask more, Rose wrapped her in a tight embrace. "Oh, Rey, thank the Force you're okay."

Rey remembered her confrontation with Sidious...and Kylo. She remembered the words that forever changed her life – It was you. She remembered the darkness and the horrific images that had overwhelmed her mind. She remembered the illusion; her mind achingly replayed the moment her bondmate killed her best friend and the moment she killed her bondmate. She remembered holding them, sobbing over their lifeless bodies, when she was startled awake. "It was just a nightmare," she said, trying to convince herself as much as her friend.

Rose was quiet for a moment, a war of emotions in her eyes. It was just a nightmare, wasn't it? Rey had the immediate urge to take stock of her surroundings. They were in the crew quarters, where she had been before she allowed the darkness in again. If it had all been a dream, the room would have looked as she left it. But there was... blood on the floor. It was mostly droplets, but there was a larger puddle next to where she was sitting. Dread settled heavily in her chest. Rey jumped to her feet.

"Rey, are you –"

The words were lost as Rey noticed more blood throughout the room. Something terrible had happened; she could almost sense the pain in the energy around her. She could almost hear the desperate shouts. Then she noticed blood streaks by the blastdoor, leading to a body slumped by a bunk. It hadn't been a nightmare. It may have been an illusion, but the consequences were very real. She was at his side, turning him over as the first tear fell.

"Finn!" she cried. His eyes were not open – staring blankly – as they had been in the illusion, but the absence of his bright, kind stare was just as alarming. She shook him desperately, but he was unresponsive.

It reminded her of the moment after finding him in the snow on Starkiller. After everything they had been through, was her bondmate responsible again? If Kylo had done this, it was her fault. She had been distracted by darkness, she hadn't been there to protect her friends. The only comfort was the sound of his pulse in the Force. Finn was still alive. For how long, she was uncertain. "I don't understand! It wasn't real!" She turned to her friend. "Tell me Ben didn't do this."

Rose knelt next to them. "Well, he was here... and you were fighting...and Finn heard... and..." Her words trailed off as she vaguely gestured to Finn.

"Rose, please, tell me Ben didn't do this."

Rose only sighed and rested her hand on Rey's shoulder. Rey was panicking, but Rose was eerily calm. Her fiancé was unconscious, unresponsive and she was comforting Rey. It didn't make sense. How could he have done this? Had Kylo chosen to join Sidious's Dark Army after all? Had Sidious been distracting her with an illusion while Kylo executed his attack?

I must do this, he had told her. Think what you want of me, but I can't risk them finding you.

Her mind flashed back to his face when he had said those words. It was sorrow, not anger. Even after he had learned of the secrets she had withheld from him, his only reason for joining Sidious had been to protect her. Even at his most desperate moment, he hadn't gone through with it. Rey knew him. He wouldn't join that monster. He had hurt her with the secrets he kept from her, but she knew him, Rose had to be wrong. "Ben... My Ben did this?"

Rose stared at her with an odd expression on her face, as if she couldn't understand why it would upset her. He was only their enemy to Rose, she supposed. How could she possibly understand Rey's complicated feelings for him? It didn't matter. None of that changed the absence of a denial from her friend. Kylo had done this.