Force Destiny

Friends

Three weeks. She had been in denial for three weeks that it would only take patience, that everyone else was wrong, that one day he would want her again. Rey didn't know what was worse: mourning Ben in an empty room or mourning him while staring at a man who looked just like him. It was worse than staring at a ghost or a holovideo or a picture, because at least there was familiarity, an impression left by the person she loved. This was a shell, a crude imitation.

Strong arms around her broke her reverie, and Rey turned in the embrace to lean her head on Finn's shoulder. Rey had been alone for most of her life. She had been starved for touch far more than she had for food. But it had never ached quite acutely as being warm in her best friend's arms as she watched the man she loved just behind the viewport, knowing he would never touch her like that. When Finn spoke, his voice was tender, but tired. "Rey, you know sitting here watching him isn't going to change anything. How long are you going to do this to yourself?"

"As long as it takes," she whispered. She knew his memories weren't coming back; he was safe as long as they didn't. But she hoped with time that he would give her a chance, that he would look at her the way he had when they first met—when they were still strangers. As time passed, she realized now more than ever that Ben had recognized her all along. Even at his darkest, he didn't stare at her with apathy like this man did. But she wouldn't give up, no matter how often her friends urged her. "Why does everyone else care?"

"Do you want the truth?" His words reminded her so much of her bondmate it stung. Just as Ben's words had been unsettling then, her body shivered in a visceral reaction to Finn's words now. Perhaps she feared the truth because, deep down, she already knew.

"No."

Finn guided Rey to a nearby chair, and she acquiesced to his silent request to sit. Finn lowered himself to a squat on the floor in front of her. Resting his hands on her knees, he waited until she met his stare. "As your best friend, I think it's time you hear it," he said firmly, but not unkindly. "How long did you waste waiting for your family? If Poe and I hadn't crashed on Jakku, you could still be there. I love you for the hope you have when all the rest of us see is darkness. But you're doing it again. You're waiting here for someone who is never coming back."

Rey wanted to run, but his hands on her knees held her hostage. The panic set in. She was acutely aware that he was forcing her to face a truth she wasn't ready to face. But then her mind supplied the helpful reminder that Ben just needs more time. Finn was trying to help, but couldn't he see that this was nothing like her parents? "How is this the same, Finn? I was waiting for people who were dead! They were not sitting in the room right in front of me—"

Finn's words were like a knife to her heart. "Is Ben?"

Her eyes raised to the viewport. She had no idea who the man on the other side was, but she knew it wasn't the man she loved. Not yet. "They didn't love me—"

"Does he?"

No.

This man had told her as much every time the words burst past her lips. I don't know you, he had reminded her. I'm not him. He's gone. She was tired of everyone—the med droids, Maz, Poe, Rose, now Finn—telling her to give up on him. To give up on him was to give up on them.

Finn took her silence as an answer and continued. "It sucks," his voice cracked under the emotion, "a lot. It's not fair. But Ben died, Rey. You can spend the rest of your life sitting here torturing yourself, but one day you'll see that the man in there is a stranger, no matter who he looks like. Our memories make us who we are. He might look like him, but he has no more in common with Ben than any of the other people you'd meet in this galaxy."