For His Pleasure

44

"You really don't remember having invited me?" He chuckled, amused while studying me closely.

"No, I'm sorry," I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling truly embarrassed, "I drank quite a bit last night."

"That's fine—"

"It's not like I want you to leave, though," I quickly cut him off, "I mean, of course you can leave, I just feel like now's a good time for us to talk."

He smiled and nodded, agreeing. Ben had slipped the coat of his suit off and now let me ogle at his torso and its muscles being hugged by a white button-up dress shirt. The top two buttons were left unbuttoned, attempting to give him somewhat of a casual representation.

Ben's smile suddenly faded and he shifted in his seat opposite me, "before anything I need to ask you something."

"Okay," my brows furrowed at the sudden serious expression he had and the severity of his tone, "what is it?"

"Are you pregnant?" His dark eyes were fully focused on mine, carefully taking in each of my expressions.

"Pregnant?" My brows raised and eyes widened, very confused now.

He sighed, "we had sex without a condom that night... my father said you were literally glowing after he'd visited you and I just... You don't look pregnant. Were you...?"

"No," I shook my head, wanting to lighten the mood as he seemed to be very frightened about the idea, "I haven't been pregnant lately, you have nothing to worry about. I'm on birth control, anyway."

"Oh," he breathed out, eyes never wavering from mine, "I would have been there for you, if you were. You do know that, right?"

"I do," I sent him a gentle and warm smile, "thank you for caring about it."

He just nodded and looked away deep in thought.

"It's so beautiful here," he commented after a moment of silence, relaxing in his seat and gazing at the nature filling my garden, "you don't feel lonely being here all by yourself?"

"No," I shook my head with a gentle smile, "this is the perfect break I needed from the city life."

"Break? So you're coming back at some point?" Ben looked back at me, his interest and curiosity piqued.

"At some point yes, most likely," I told him, "but for now I'm still staying here for some time."

"Alright, I get that," he replied understandingly, "things don't feel the same without you back home, but if you feel this is best for you then I support you fully."

I gently giggled and shrugged, "that's sweet, Ben. Thank you."

This seemed so normal. There were no more secrets between us or things I feared him knowing and taking advantage of. He didn't seem like he was searching for anything to use with bad intent now, anyway.

"You're so beautiful, Sofia," he suddenly spoke incredibly genuinely, warming my whole body up in the best way, "I know I shouldn't say that, I'm not trying to wheel you back in."

The effort he was making was making me more and more confident that we could work out someday.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Mr Capra," I replied lightheartedly, making him chuckle, "you've been working out more."

"Yes, well," he grinned, clearly pleased that I had noticed, "I started boxing a little over a month ago. My therapist suggested I redirect anger or some shit like that with it."

"Therapist?" My brows raised at him, inviting him to continue. It felt incredible to know that he had indeed paid for a professional to talk to.

"Yeah, this old woman Sam," he shook his head while explaining, chuckling to himself, "you'd love her. We've worked through a lot of stuff. My mother and my adolescence. We also had a few sessions where my father was present, they were surprisingly civilised and non-violent."

I couldn't help but smile widely, feeling so incredibly proud of him, "that's so great. Your father's told me about how you two have talked and spent time together. You have no idea how much it means to me that you're working on yourself."

"I want to be good for you, Sofia."

"I know," I sighed, "but it's also important for yourself and your life for you to do these things. You're already so much more relaxed and happy."

"I'm happy because I'm with you," he told me straight up. It was now taking a lot from me to not just jump him and kiss him senseless.

I looked down at my hands resting on my lap, trying to comprehend the strength of the feelings I had for him.

"You were going to kill Tony," I reminded him sadly, wanting to talk this through now as well.

Ben sighed and shook his head, regretting it, "I wanted you to think that so you'd tell me about him. It was the same tactic I used when we were in Brussels and I forced you to open up about your past."

"Oh," I frowned, studying him closely. He was being honest with me, so at least that was progress.

"I've told Sam all this," Ben then explained slowly, "we both agreed that it was an unhealthy way of trying to communicate and that my coping mechanisms were not good at all. If I could go back and change the way I've acted toward you I would, but I can't. I'm truly sorry for how I treated you, you didn't deserve any of it."

My heart melted, knowing he was being genuine. I blinked back a few tears as we had entered a very touchy domain.

"I'd like for you to meet her. I want you to know that I'm a better person and I want you to hear everything from her so that you'll believe it," he then told me seriously, "would you be willing to meet her?"

I was quiet for a moment, processing my thoughts and feelings as he waited patiently for a reply.

"I trust you, Ben. I can meet her if you want me to, but for me to know that you're working on yourself is based on actions, not words, if that makes sense?" I offered him a small smile, heart racing at the smile that then formed onto his lips.

"You trust me?"

"I do."