I Owe The Bad Boy My Heart

Chapter 5: A Lament

"For a moment of happiness do not summon a forlorn lifetime. One mistake of the past can submerge your future into an everlasting 'LAMENT' " -Surls

*Cole O'Connell*

I could sense that something was wrong. She was hiding something from us. But I didn't know what. I felt bad when that guy referred to Chloe as 'His girl' but I could not do anything. I tried to help her but after all it was none of my business, so why should I. I sat back with my friends and asked them who he was.

Like me Hozar too didn't know who that guy was. But Andre and Valentino told me that they had seen him in Chloe's house a few times but it was two years before and since then they had not seen him. His name was Ashton. According to them he was Chloe's boyfriend. But what relation they had now was unknown to them.

As far as they know, things between Chloe and Ashton had not turned out to be pretty good. After Ashton had left Chloe, she was completely shattered. When I asked them how they know all this, they told me that being in the same neighborhood, it was pretty much easy to know about each other's life. What they didn't know was what was he doing back in her life? And after everything how could Chloe even let him near her.

I wondered that if he was Chloe's boyfriend and she had allowed him bach in her life herself, then why was she crying when he took her with him. What was all that for. I knew I had to talk to her when she returned. But her last words that she told me were still eating me inside.

*Chloe Armel*

I was returning from Ashton's home. I was shattered and broken once again. I could not help but think of everything he did to me. I tried to suppress back the tears till I reached home. I had almost forgotten about Cole and his friends, when I saw them sitting there and looking at me as I approached them. I tried to walk past them as fast as I could but it didn't work when I realized that Valentino came towards me and asked, "Is everything all right? Why the heck is that boy again in your life? You told that you two were over right? Is he doing something wrong? Tell us Chloe, we will help you."

I was sad when I saw that Cole was staring at me like as if he didn't know me. I could feel the rage within him at what I had said. Putting away everything I tried to reply without bursting out in tears in front of them. But before I could speak anything I heard Cole's voice from where he was standing. He was still staring at me.

"Leave her alone Valentino. She does not need us. And after all it is none of our business." He says emphasizing on the last few words that I had said him earlier.

I find myself helpless, unable to control my tears at this. I see Valentino glare at Cole. It seems that he realizes that what he just told was inappropriate, he moves towards me, but before he could get to me I run out from there.

Tears all over my face.

I run inside my house. My heart was already aching by what Ashton had done to me and all that I needed was someone like Cole, who I had expected to care for me, after seeing that he had tried to save me, to state such cruel remarks.

My heart was already broken and all that I needed was Ashton to appear again in my life to deepen the wounds. I don't know why was I even expecting Cole to care for me when it was so obvious that caring is far off he wouldn't even bother about me. After all it was just one day that we had met. He was a playboy and he didn't give a damn, and I don't know why out of all the people in the world, expect him to CARE, like seriously?

I never cried in front of anyone ever, I knew very well how to control my tears, I knew how to appear strong in front of other people. But today I broke down in front of all these boys. More than at Cole I feel angry at myself I feel ashamed of myself. I wonder what made me break down like that. I would have appeared so pathetic, so helpless and.....ugh.

Oh! Fudge my life.....

I was sitting in my bedroom and I was crying like as if my life depended on it. I had a whisky in my cupboard and taking it I started drinking. It was the third time that I was drinking once again. I skipped school for the entire next week.

I was really desperate. I kept crying and drinking continuously. My parents used to leave early in the morning and I should be still asleep. When they should return back at night around 9 I should pretend to be asleep and so they didn't come to know about my condition. I was sad as to how can my parents be so oblivious of what is happening around me, but somewhere I was glad, so that I would not have to answer any questions.

I gave to drinking when I was in class nine after my first heart break. And since that day I am continuously in need of it. I could have not landed doing this but my situations and helplessness forced me.

I had no one to talk to. My parents rarely cared about me. I wondered if they even knew that I existed. They ignored me like I was some sort of useless stuff. I had no siblings to whom I could talk to and share. Aunt Margaret was a simple lady. She did her duty and then used to quietly leave. She did not bother about my life too much.

All that she was bothered of was money which I used to feed her so that she could bring me drinks and to keep her mouth shut. Sometimes I felt like I was not important. If my parents would have been close to me I would have surely not have fallen for Ashton, and his games.

My loneliness made me fall for him. I was naïve.

I just don't know for what I am even alive. Suicidal attempts come to my mind, but I remind myself that I am not weak, I am not alone, God is there somewhere, I am not desperate, and I can cope up. When I could cope up with so much of my past life all alone, then why can't I now. I am not the type of girl to attempt suicide or something.

The thoughts, the memories and everything that Ashton did to me keep on coming back to me and with every passing day I find it increasingly difficult to bare the pain anymore.

Back then, when all of this had started I needed a let out. I needed to calm my nerves down. I wanted to forget, to run, to freaking die, because what he did not only broke my heart but had the power to shatter me. So, in such a case all that was left for me to opt for was drinks, because it took me far away from the present, the reality, it made me forget things even if was temporarily.....and so I did.

I understood one thing and that is that life is much more beautiful alone. I sat back at home and kept drinking until I felt the need to go back to school and start with my lessons. I realized that I had already missed one week and I could not afford to miss anymore.

After all I was studious. And I also knew that in my future when no one will be there for me like now, I will need my studies to keep up with my living and to support me mentally and physically. I also made a mental note to study psychiatric studies so that I could understand human psychology especially of boys like Ashton and help other girls, so that they don't have to face what I am passing through.

I was strong not to attempt any stupid things but everyone might not be like that.

I arranged my timetable so that I could go back to school from tomorrow. I kept myself sober so that I could be at my best in school. I could do what I wished behind these four walls but I had my own stand outside. My self-respect was everything for me and maybe that's why Ashton took it. But I know that I won't say anyone about it.

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Hey Readers! Hope you all are doing good at this point of time, when most of the world in under lock down. Stay Home Stay Safe.

As a writer I once again explore this opportunity to present before you another chapter. Hope you all enjoy reading it. Let me know through your votes and comments. It would mean a lot. It supports writers morally and it boosts up their level of confidence to present before you an even better piece of art from their never ending imagination.

-Surls