Chapter Thrity-Nine: ...From the time I tried to Kill Him

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I and straightened my hair because that's how she liked it. I made my way to closet and grabbed a plain black dress, actually the one I wore to my mom's funeral. I then put on black flats. I went into the living room and laid on the couch, not wanting to talk to anyone. As the rest of my family got ready I just laid there wishing that she was here. I sat there and realized that I was now whispering her name, over and over again. My dad then tapped my on the shoulder and walked with me to the car.

The ceremony at the church went quick, but when we got to the cemetary it seemed like forever. I coudln't stand the thought of puting Beth in the ground. I looked in front of me and saw Beth's mother crying. I couldn't cry though, not anymore, I have cried all my tears. Her parents made a speech, and at the end they wanted me to make a speech. I stood next to the casket.

"Usually when you talk at funeral you talk about how the person you've lost will be missed, and how we loved her so much, but if you're here today then we know you loved Beth. So I'm not goin got talk about how she is gone, I'm going to talk about her when she was with us. Beth was this girl that could be distant sometimes but when she opened up to you she was this ball of energy. I remember how she talked about her pranks she pulled on people, and how she loved being outgoing and idependent. Beth also wanted nothing more than to be happy, she never wanted to be lonely or not have anyone she loved. She found that person though, and one night I saw her dancing with him, and realized that Beth had almost lived the life she always wanted, but she wasn't supposed to die this early in her life. I just hope she's with people that she had lost, I miss you Beth." I now had tears streaming down my cheek.

I sat back down next to my dad and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I thought I couldn't cry anymore, but I was wrong I would always have that part of me that was crying for Beth.

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I sat in my room, doing nothing but staring at the ceilling, or watching TV occasionally. I didn't eat, sleep, or go to school. People would stop by to see me but I wouldn't talk to anyone. I felt there was no reason to do anything without Beth.

Luke's POV:

I drove over to Tessie's house to see how she was doing. I knocked on the door, and her dad opened it. He let me in and I went up ot Tessie's room. I knocked on the door and then walked in. She was laying on her bed, facing away from the door. A plate of food on her night stand, sat there untouched.

"Hey Tessie." I said. She didn't respond. I sat on the bed next to her. "Come on Tessie you have to at least eat something." I said. She turned towards me and grabbed my hand, and closed her eyes.

"How's Michael?" she finally said.

"He's in the same condition as you, not eating, sleeping, or going to school" I said. She laid there with her eyes closed. She then put her head on my chest. She didn't say anything else after that. She just laid there. I didn't know how to help her, but I had to find a way.

"I'm going to get you a glass of water." I said. I got up and went into the kitchen, where her parents, and Sarah sat. ''I'm just came in here to get her a glass of water. Maria got up and went into the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to me. I then made my way back to Tessie's room, when Sarah stopped me.

"Luke" she said.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Um, listen I just wanted to say sorry that you have to see her like this." she said.

"It's okay, I just hope she'll feel better."

"You don't understand...when I met Tessa it was about three years after her mom had died and she wasn't entirely...there. I just don't want you to be dragged down with her." she said.

"I wouldn't be dragged down with her. I know what you mean though, and thanks." I turned back and walked back into Tessie's room and she was no longer sitting on her bed. She was sitting a on a chair on her balcony. I walked out there and handed her the water. We both just looked out at sunset.

''I was going to jump." she said, not even making eye contact with me.

"What?" I said.

"I thought if I jumped it would all go away, but then I thought I how feel now that she's gone I just don't want people to feel the way I feel.''

''Tessie I'm sorry about Beth." I said.

"Yeah me too.'' she responded.

Tessa's POV:

We walked back inside. I knew now that by being so distant I was hurting people and that's not what Beth would have wanted. I laid back on my bed with Luke. We watched TV for a while but then Luke had to go home. I sat there for a while when a thought popped into my head. I got up and then down the stairs and out the door, to Michael's. I knocked on the door, and his mom opened the door.

"Hi Mrs. Clifford would it be okay if I talk to Michael?" I asked her. She nodded and let me in. I knew where Michael's room was from that one time I tried to kill him. I walked in and he was laying on his bed, asleep. I sat down next to him. I could tell once I laid down he woke up.

"Tessa?" he said in a croggy voice. I didn't say anything and I put my head on his shoulder. Michael was the only one who felt the same way I did, and I couldn't get through this alone, and I needed to be here for Michael too.

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