Ocean Eyes

5🌸

Lucy's P.o.V
I remained sitting in the bathroom, I heard the moaning and I didn't want to go out. It had to be soon, but did I want it now? Now that I had finally found someone who hadn't done anything to me, who hadn't forced me to take this shit? I thought about it, but that's when the old familiar feeling came over me. A pressure spread through my chest and I started coughing. My time had come and no one had forced me to take these crappy pills even once. Smiling, I leaned against the cold tiles and tensed up more and more. Agonizingly long minutes passed in which I noticed how my body was doing less and less of the work it was supposed to do. I became weaker and I enjoyed the feeling of just lying there. No one had forced me, no one had hurt me, no one had yelled at me because none of them knew. I noticed how my lungs had less and less to work with. They would tighten, contract, trying to give me one last breath of life, I would start to cough. My relaxed hands would turn into badass fists and I tried to hold back the coughing. A suffocating feeling spread through me and I knew I didn't have long.

Finally I would be with my sister, finally Anastasia, finally we would meet again.

My eyes were about to close when I stared into another pair of eyes. It belonged to him, Colin, there was despair and wonder in his face. He was mumbling something, looking panicked, but I didn't mind anymore. No one could help me now, and I would never want that. I would rather be dead. I felt his big, warm hands on my body, they embrace my shoulders and shake me tightly. I noticed how my vision became blurred, I saw everything only pixelated and then blurred. I noticed how darkness crept into my field of vision from the outside and my eyesight was taken away. I felt only a gentle touch, someone stroking my hair, and then I fell into a deep, black hole. Death wormed its way down my throat, suffocating all life within me. Like a greedy monster, it reached for my last heartbeats. Silence.

I opened my eyes, I saw countless people, but not a single one of them looked at me funny. Everyone just went on, doing what they had to do. I was not given a glance. It was strange, because otherwise I was always stared at. I pushed my way through the crowds, desperately looking for something. Even though I had no idea what exactly I was looking for, I was getting more and more frantic.

"Can I help you in any way?" asked a sweet voice, I recognized it immediately and fell into my sister's arms. "Are you actually completely stupid? Why are you just throwing your life away like that? I expected more from you," she breathed desperately, stroking my back.

"I can't live without you anymore, please forgive me, but I want to be with you. Not one more day do I want to live with the thought of not being able to see you...", I breathed sadly.

My sister gently stroked my white long hair and looked at me in shock.

"I never wanted this for you, I wanted you to live, I wanted you to grow very old, with many children. I wanted you to learn to love, to forgive, to live. I wanted you to do all the things I couldn't do, to try all the things, moreover, I didn't have a chance anymore..." she said softly, with a slight smile on her full lips.

"What if I don't want this at all? What if I'm tired of everyone always telling me what's good for me? I just want to be with you...", I whimpered, hugging her tightly.

"Then you have to learn to accept that this is your life. Have to realize what and who is good for you and that one guy there.... Colin...he's really screaming for trouble, but I think he'd be good for you," she smirked to herself and stroked my back again. "...and that's exactly why I'm giving you another chance".

Then she pushed me off of her and I perked up quickly breathing in reality. 

With tears in my eyes, I looked around and desperately mumbled her name over and over again. I was all alone in the room, I looked at the disgusting tubes on my arm and quickly ripped them out. I got up and wandered around the room. I was in the hospital, no way, how had I gotten here? All of a sudden the door opened.

"Good morning, sunshine."

His voice was raspy and he was leaning in the doorway, looking at me walking around in this gown. I blushed and quickly climbed back into bed.

"Your plan to croak in my bathroom was pretty lousy, imagine if I had the cops on me right now, they would have still thought I killed you or fed you something" he grumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I breathed sheepishly, not daring to look at him.

My gaze was on the floor, after a few seconds of silence I finally wanted to look up at him again, but he was gone.