For You, Amor

Chapter 6

TUMAAS ang sulok ng labi ni Froilan sa tanong ko. Para bang masaya siya na natanong ko rin siya kung bakit ganoong kurso ang kinuha niya. Natanong niya na rin naman ako, wala naman sigurong masama kung ako naman ang magtanong.

"I was told by my mom to pursue it to follow her legacy," he lightly answered.

Nanliit ang mga mata ko. "So you were just forced to take it?"

I expected him to look sad, but instead, he just smiled. Like it was no big deal to him - like it never bothered him at all.

"Hmm... you could say that. Hindi naman ako napilitan pero wala naman kasi akong choice - I mean, literally. I don't have a personal choice. I didn't know what to take when I entered college."

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Wala kang gustong maging? Wala kang plano?"

He bit his lower lip and looked away. I sensed a bit of embarrassment from him. It seemed like he got shy to admit that he didn't have any plan for his life.

I wasn't going to judge him, though. I mean, come on! Reality speaking, some people really just don't plan for their future. Some don't have a vision, a dream, a plan, or whatever. Iyon bang parang hindi pa nila alam kung anong gusto nila. Iyong parang pakiramdam nila, nawawala pa rin sila kahit ang tagal na nila rito sa mundo.

Hindi naman masama ang ganoon. We shouldn't look down on people who don't plan for their lives. It doesn't define who they are. We don't know the battles they're facing every day just to continue living. We don't know how they feel every time they're trying to figure out what they really want to be.

We shouldn't belittle people like that. We don't know anything. Besides, life is not a competition wherein whoever achieves something first wins. To hell with that. Everyone can achieve something great on their own ways - at their own pace. Everyone has a perfect time, anyway.

Saka... kahit naman walang plano o pangarap ang isang tao, kung marunong dumiskarte at magsumikap, mabubuhay at mabubuhay iyan. Panahon at mga karanasan na lamang ang magdadala rito sa kung saan ito nararapat.

"This could... turn you off, but... honestly, yeah." He shrugged. "I don't have plans."

I gave him a genuine smile.

"It's okay. Hindi naman talaga lahat ng tao ay mayroon."

Mabagal siyang tumango. "Iyong ate ko, sinunod 'yong yapak ni Daddy. Arkitekto. Iyong bunso ko namang kapatid, wala pa namang nababanggit sa amin pero baka siya ang mamahala ng Vallescas Constructions balang araw. Ako naman, since I'm already on this field, of course I shouldn't waste it."

Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa kaniya at nakikinig.

"Pagka-graduate ko, mag-aapply ako sa mga kilalang ospital." Bumuntong hininga siya at umiling. "Ayokong nagpa-plano, honestly. Baka kasi hindi matuloy." He chuckled. "I'm just going with the flow. Letting the situation I'm currently in to take me to where I should be."

Unti-unti na namang sumilay ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. Tumango ako, labis na sinasang-ayunan ang sinabi niya.

"Good point," I said. "Wala naman kasing makakapagsabi kung anong mangyayari sa future. Malay ba natin kung may mga mangyayaring puwedeng humadlang sa gusto natin. Magpapatangay ka na lang talaga sa sitwasyon. Let the present lead the way. You just have to go with it, but do your best to somehow make your life better."

I didn't know if I was just hallucinating or I really did see his eyes twinkled. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't name while looking at me.

"Kaya crush na crush kita, e." Tumawa siya.

Naramdaman ko ang mabilis na pag-iinit ng mukha ko. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin, pilit itinatago ang pamumula at kaunting ngiti.