PINAGDIKIT ko ang mga labi ko matapos itong lagyan ng kulay pink na lipstick ng pinsan kong si Trisha Nicole. I asked them a favor to come over because I needed their help. Ajah owned a lot of makeups while Trisha Nicole had a collection of pretty shoes.
As per me, I didn’t have any of those. I wasn’t fond of putting makeup and never a fan of heels. Mabuti na lamang at hindi sila busy kaya napagbigyan nila ako. Na-text ko na rin naman si Tita Rosanna kanina na payagan ang dalawang anak na pumunta rito.
I stared at myself in the mirror when they were done. My hair was parted sideways and they curled the ends of it. My makeup was just light and soft. They did my eyebrows. They put light brown eye shadow which was shimmering when you look at it closely. They even wanted to put eye contacts on me, but I refused. I just let them curled my lashes and put on some mascara. They put a light blush on my cheeks which looked very natural.
Nginitian ko ang sarili nang magustuhan ko ang makeup na ginawa nila sa akin. Bumagay ito sa skin tone ko at sa kulay ng dress na binili ko.
“Aba, ang panget na ‘to, may igaganda rin pala,” Ajah poked my cheek as she laughed.
Nakitawa sa kaniya si Trisha Nicole. Inirapan ko sila bago ako tumayo. Umikot ako at napangiti nang sumayaw na naman ang laylayan ng dress.
“Feel na feel, ah? Saan ka ba talaga pupunta, ha? Date ba ‘yan?” tanong ni Nicole.
“Hindi.” Sinukat ko ang 3 inches na silver heels na ipapahiram niya sa akin.
“Syempre, hindi, ‘no. Sa ‘yo, may makikipag-date?” Ajah chuckled.
They were mean and that’s just how they really were towards me. Ngunit ewan ko, kahit parati nila akong tinutukso ay hindi naman ako nagalit. Siguro, nasanay lang talaga ako o hindi naman talaga pang-insulto ang ibig sabihin ng mga panunukso nila. I think that’s just really their way of interacting with me.
Mabuti nga’t nakikihalubilo sila sa akin, e. ‘Yong iba kasing magpipinsan, malamig sa isa’t-isa at nagkakailangan. Hindi naman sila ganoon sa akin.
“Dadalo ako sa birthday ng mommy ng boyfriend ko,” I simply said.
Silence lingered in the air. They both stared at me for a few seconds as if trying to figure out if I was real. I almost heard crickets, but then they laughed.
Sinakop ng malalakas nilang tawa ang buong kwarto ko habang nilalapitan ko ang bag ko na nakapatong sa lamesa. Dinukot ko roon ang cellphone ko.
“Iba rin talaga ang imagination nitong si Amor! Lumevel-up na ng ganoon!” natatawang saad ni Nicole.
“Baka naman isa sa mga alters mo ang may imaginary boyfriend tapos inangkin mo?”
Froilan:
Malapit na ako.
Agad akong nagtipa ng reply.
Ako:
Okay.
“May nalandi na naman ba si Theresse? O si Norms ba?”
“Sshh!” saway ko. “Don’t mention their names.”
Naitikom nila ang kanilang mga bibig ngunit natatawa pa rin. My family knew that I have DID. I still remembered how my mother cried when I got diagnosed. She kept on saying sorry to me which I didn’t understand what for.
My father was just silent, but I could see the anger in his eyes that time. Tita Rosanna and her family got informed of my condition since she was really that close to my father. Nang mamatay ang mga magulang ko, hindi naman tumigil si Tita na paalalahanan ako sa pagbisita sa doktor ko.
Minsan ay sinasamahan nila ako nila Ajah at Nicole sa tuwing bibisitahin ko ang doktor ko, which I really I appreciate so much.
Inilagay ko sa pouch na regalo sa akin noon ni Tita Rosanna ang mga dadalhin ko; cellphone, wallet, panyo, at maliit na perfume. Nag-picture-picture pa ang dalawa kasama ako kahit na ayaw ko kaya karamihan sa mga pictures ay wala akong reaksyon.
Nasa kalagitnaan ng katuwaan ang dalawa sa pagpi-picture nang marinig ko ang buzz sa pinto ng unit. I took a deep breath and my palms suddenly became sweaty! I faced the mirror one last time to check myself.
Facing Froilan with how I looked right now felt like I was in a hot seat. I felt pressured, embarrassed, and scared at the same time. The saccharine torture I was feeling inside felt overwhelming that I just wanted to run and hide.
Ngayon niya lang ako makikitang nakaayos nang ganito. Kinakabahan ako na nahihiya. Ewan ko ba.
Natigil sa tawanan ang dalawa nang makailang beses nang tumunog buzzer na sinabayan pa ng katok. Nilunok ko ang bara sa aking lalamunan bago tinapangan ang sarili na pumunta na sa pinto.
I slowly opened the door. The first thing I saw was a white undershirt and a black tuxedo. When I moved my eyes up, I was warmly welcomed by Froilan’s obsidian eyes. Heat formed in my face that instant. As soon as his gaze started to roam around my face down my body, the heat intensified.
“Amor, sino ‘yan—“ natigilan si Ajah nang makakita ng lalaki sa harap ko.
Nagtagal pa muna ang tingin sa akin ni Froilan na tila ba gusto nang i-tattoo sa kaniyang utak ang itsura ko ngayon bago siya nagbaling sa dalawa kong pinsan. I cleared my throat at mas nilakihan ang pagkakabukas ng pinto. Humakbang papasok si Froilan. Natulala ang dalawa sa kaniya.
“Uhm, Froilan, this is Ajah and Nicole, my cousins.”
Naglahad ng kamay si Froilan na nahihiya pa nilang tinanggap.
“At… ito nga pala si F-Froilan.” Nautal ako sa kaba. “B-Boyfriend ko.”
“Ano?!” sabay na reaksyon ng dalawa.
Ngumiti si Froilan habang sila ay takang-takang nagpapabalik-balik ng tingin sa amin.
“It’s nice to meet the both of you,” ani Froilan.
Bago pa mang-usisa sa amin ang dalawa ay inunahan ko na. Kinuha ko ang pouch ko na nasa sofa at muling lumapit kay Froilan. He was now looking at me again. A different glimmer was in his eyes.
“A-Alis na kami. Huwag niyong kakalimutang i-lock ang pinto kapag aalis na kayo, ah?”
Hindi na nagawa pang sumagot ng dalawa dahil hinila ko na si Froilan. Pagkalabas na pagkalabas namin ng unit ko ay agad na pumulupot sa katawan ko ang mga braso niya.
“Ang ganda-ganda mo…” parang batang aniya habang nakasiksik ang mukha sa leeg ko.
Uminit ang pisngi ko kasabay ng pag-init din ng aking puso. Ngumuso ako at humawak sa kaniyang braso.
“T-Thank you.”
Umangat ang ulo niya mula sa leeg ko upang muli akong tingnan. He was smiling as his eyes were screaming of gentleness and adoration.
“Je t'aime,” he suddenly said which I didn’t understand.
Was that French? May lahi kasi silang French ng mga kapatid niya because their mom’s a half French. Reason why he was always calling me 'mon amour'.
“What’s that?” tanong ko.
He just smiled at me before his hand crawled on my fingers.
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BINABASA MO ANG
For You, Amor
Ficción General"Only for Amor." ***** Amorette Carbonel is an introvert type of girl - close enough to be called as a weirdo. She likes to distance herself from the crowd because she always thought that everyone will just going to hurt her. Hindi naman kasi siya k...
