Check Mate (Unedited)

Chapter 38

《Adrian》

I sighed after I finally put Arthur to sleep. I went back to looking through newspapers for jobs. I couldn't really get a job now since Arthur is only two and half months old, he still needs me around.

Over these two months of having him though, I've learnt to really respect mothers and it made me realise how much my own mother was put through to raise me and Melvin. But over these two months it's been tougher and tougher everyday.

I barely eat now. I'm too busy worrying about Arthur's next few months. I'm too busy dealing with my mental demons. Sometimes just feeding him is so difficult. Everything just takes so much effort. And him waking up in the middle of the night drives me crazy sometimes.

I've done a lot of crying and so has Arthur. Apparently his crying is caused by something called colic but it's been a nightmare. It's been tough to figure out why he's crying and sometimes I'd cry too. Not for all the right reasons. I feel like the pregnancy fucked up my hormones and left them that way. I've been an emotional mess and I don't like it.

I grabbed my notebook to write down another job option. I turned back to the page where my father wrote down the three words.

Anxiety

Pride                                       Lie

Die

There the words stood and I still had no idea what stood in the middle of the three. Did he mean it literally or figuratively?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

《Jason》

I sat by myself in the balcony while Roxy and Melvin were inside watching a movie. I was worried about Adrian. It's been almost a year since we've talked to each other. From what I've heard from Roxy and Melvin, she's not doing too good.

I just wanna see her, I just wanna help her. I wanna be there for her. Sometimes the only way to fix something is to take it apart then put it back together. And I think maybe that's what I gotta do.

I spent a good two hours there meditating on whether I should see Adrian or not and what I should expect.

"Jason?"

I blinked to snap out of my daydream. "Yes?"

She took a seat next to me. "You don't look ok, what's up?"

"Aren't you watching a movie with Melvin?" I asked.

"No, he left, he had to help a client who just got arrested again. Now tell me what's got you down?"

I sighed. I really didn't like to bother Roxy with my problems. They are my problems after all. She's my younger sister. I should be taking care of her, not her taking care of me. But knowing my sister, she won't let me do that.

I looked at Roxy as I came up with a decision. "Take me to Bedford."

Roxy gave me a small smile. "You've made your decision?"

I nodded.

"Ok. I'll take you."

I went to my room and grabbed a small black box and shoved it in my pocket. I gave Roxy my car keys and she drove us to Bedford. We arrived outside of Adrian's apartment. I took a deep breath.