Asher & Julia| 16+✔️

Chapter 46

Asher's POV

I'm utterly gone, wasted, lost, drained, done...all of my emotions above of feeling my life slowly washing away with each sip of alcohol I take, each joint I smoke and each pill I take but all of that..still isn't enough to forget her but I have forgotten what it feels like to hold her in my arms, kiss her, feel her touch, I've forgotten what it feels like to hear her laughter at my stupidity and crude mouth, I feel like she's fading away but still there...is that even possible? She won't erase and I'm not even sure I want her completely gone, I just don't want to feel the pain of watching her, it crushes me each time I see her. Of course she never sees me but I'm glad because i know it would hurt her, I hurt her...multiple times.

I feel like I'm slowly drowning...unable to catch my breath until I'm beside her again, happy again. I always ruin things why couldn't I be normal and just be happy with the girl, no father problems or any other baggage I have like being committed to a woman and not being scared that she could eventually hurt me so bad that I may die. I wish I had a normal teenage life like Camila had, she was the popular one with all the friends and a stable boyfriend, she was so fucking happy all the time unless Ace and I were bothering her on purpose, her father loves her...even though we have the same father he doesn't seem like mine at all, I feel like the outside to my own family.

"You need another drink" my empty beer bottle is ripped from my hand, I look up to the girl with poker straight jet black hair and heavy makeup, her smile seductive smile like damn usual.

She places a shot in my hand, "What's this?" I question as I study the green shot glass filled with brown liquid.

"Tequila!" She shouts before placing her hand on my thigh and leaning forward to pick up the salt shaker and lime on the coffee table in front.

My eyes rest on her pedicured hand on my thigh, I gulp and look back up to her, "Becca, why don't you annoy someone else?" I shove her hand off and place the small shit coloured glass into her hand.

"Don't be a party pooper, Ashy" she pouts dramatically. I hate it when she call me that.

I look towards Thomas standing beside the tv talking to some blonde, she reaches up touching his black curls and giggles.

Good for him he never gets pussy.

When Rebecca loudly sighs I look back to her sour face, "You're so boring now after you broke up with that hideous emo"

"Fuck off Rebecca!" I hiss.

She tuts, "You don't even realise that you were too good for her, I can make you forget about her...it's not hard" her arm rests on the back of the couch behind my head before she runs her nails on the nape of my neck in my hair.

Of course it's not hard, I don't think I'll ever be hard for her again.

I lean forward snatching the shot from her and downing it not caring about the salt or lime, I just want her off my back. I stand up and walk away from her heading to the kitchen as the loud music blares through my apartment.

I'm glad Cam is staying with Jules, at least I know she'll be happy with friends and not miserable like I've been.

"What's up dude?" I hear Ty say, I turn seeing him sitting at the island counter, I look down to the counter filled with empty bottles and four small white lines, I know exactly what it is since Cam was involved with shit like this, I'm glad she isn't anymore.

"Just getting another drink" I turn back around trying to act like the drugs in my home doesn't bother me, it does. I can't stand those drugs. I can hear Julia's and my mother's disappointed voices as they scold me for allowing it.