Asher & Julia| 16+✔️

Chapter 73

Asher's POV

"So, Laura said you're an engineer?" The pretty blonde says tucking her short bobbed hair behind her pierced ear. 

I nod forcing a smile out to seem polite, "Yeah, it's a lot of work but keeps my mind clear"

I beginning to regret asking Laura to set me up as this girl sits across from me, It's been four months since my mother passed and I'm trying every possible way to not think about it. I call Cam as much as I can to check in on her, I'm trying to stay strong and dealing with my mothers death is something I'm trying to work through by keeping myself busy but Cam has a different way of dealing with loss and I know she is finding it tricky. I offered her to move here with me, in New York but she refused,  said that she can't move because it's home. I think the fresh start for her would be good but she doesn't think so, she called it running.

"You're a baker right?" I try hold the conversation, I'm really trying here but I just don't feel it. What is wrong with me? She gorgeous with a figure I would love to touch when I was a teenager..so what is wrong with me? Why can't I move on?

"Yes, me and my friend opened up a baker. It's work I love to do and It's something I've been passionate about ever since I made my first batch of cupcakes at fifteen"

"That's great" I gulp down my water.

Julia's POV

He collapses beside me in a panting mess as I lay there without much as a drip of sweat on my skin, "That was amazing" he laughs kissing my cheeks and getting off the bed.

I sit up pulling the duvet over my body as he heads to the bathroom. Each time we have sex it doesn't feel right and not once have I been satisfied. I'm trying so hard but no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking of Asher and what he's doing. When I saw him four months ago he didn't even look my way, I tried talking to him, hoping to comfort him in time of need but he just walked away raising his hand up to quiet my talking. I felt so sorry for him and Cam, I haven't lost a parent so I don't know what it feels like but I want to be there for them, Camila let me in and we talked for hours the entire night until she fell asleep, I held her so tight to me which I haven't done in a long time. I missed my best friend so much. I talk to her every so often before but now I try as much as I can and we're planning on me visiting Texas in Summer, i can't wait and I'm ready to make her laugh constantly. I'm ready to see her smile again. 

"Hey babe, do you maybe want to get changed instead of laying naked all day?" Glen says walking in with joggers hanging low on his v-line. 

I nod forcing a smile, I guess he doesn't like seeing my body on show constantly. If I'm laying in bed or in my own apartment why not, no one is around? Sometimes i want to lay in bed naked but he doesn't like it. I close the bathroom door behind me and turn on the shower dropping my blanket I wrapped around me as I walked here. I don't know why but lately I've been feeling insecure, about everything. I wonder If Asher has moved on like I'm trying too. I pick up my phone to check his Instagram which he doesn't really post on, when I look up his profile I can't find it which is strange. I've been checking it for months sadly looking at his old photos, has he deleted his account or did he block me? 

I place my phone down on the sink counter and step into the shower, letting the hot water wash away my insecurities and prepare myself to be the happiest version of me. Why don't I feel happy with Glen? Sure he doesn't like certain things I do and doesn't like me wearing certain things but he's overall a great guy, I should be happy but...I don't.   

When I get out the shower Glen is dressed in jeans and a blue polo shirt, "Where you going?" I ask him and sit on the couch now wearing grey joggers with a baggy t-shirt. 

"I'm going to pick up dinner, I was thinking about sushi?" 

I nod with a half smile flicking through the channels on the tv, he kisses my forehead and walks towards the door, grabbing his car keys, "Love you", he shouts before leaving, I stay quiet deciding what to watch. 

Asher's POV

"I had fun", Jade smiles as I walk her to her door.

"Me too" I lie. I've been overthinking all evening. 

She stands smiling at me, "I guess I should go in" She giggles gesturing to her large door.

"Can I give you a kiss?" I blurt out, If I want to move on I need to try right? 

"Of course", She blushes.

I lean in holding the side of her head, my lips touch hers and it doesn't feel the same when kissing Julia. I deepen the kiss hoping to find anything at all, a spark? flame? anything at all but It doesn't come, even when one of her hands are places on my chest and the other holding the side of my face. The kiss just isn't doing anything for me. 

I pull away and look off to the side, "Sorry" I apologise before looking down at the ground to my shoes.

"What for?", her tone sweet. 

"Uhm.." I clear my throat, "I'm still hung up on someone and I thought maybe I could do this but I don't think I can", I meet her sad eyes and she nods. 

"It's okay, I get it. Thank you for telling me, I appreciate the honesty" 

I half smile, "Have a good night, Jade" I tell her and walk backwards, that went better than I thought. I just can't force myself to be intimate with someone, It makes me feel sick. I hate that I can't move on like Julia can, She's dug her nails so deep into me that I don't think I'll ever move on.

When I get in, I sit on my new couch staring at the flat screen tv, feeling alone once again. I decide to call Camila to see if she's okay, when she picks up she sounds drained. 

"Hey" I say back to her. 

"Hold on" She says, I hear her moving around on the other end, I think she just got in from work, "Hey, how was your date?" 

I shrug knowing she can't see me, "It was good but meh didn't feel right" I tell her truthfully. 

"I'm sure the right girl will come along" 

"Yeah" I say quietly looking around my empty apartment. I should've just stayed at my last apartment, at least Ethan lived next door and If I felt this way I could go to his for company but now I live quite a bit away.

"Hey uhm, I'm thinking about selling the house..and maybe getting an apartment. It's too big for just me and It's a lot of money" 

"You want to sell mum's house?" 

"Yeah but not right now maybe in a couple of months, I'm so tired of working two jobs and Mrs. Teller said she'll give me full time if I'm not wanting to work at the cafe anymore It makes it easier for me and I can pay less for an apartment and pay other bills" 

"Yeah if that's what you want, I can help you move everything out. Maybe I can take time off work and come for the summer?" 

"Uhm..yeah, sounds good. I'll need help"

"Okay, I'll speak to my boss about taking time off" 

"Okay, I'm tired so can I call you tomorrow?", She yawns. 

"Yeah goodnight and I love you" 

"Love you too", she hangs up. 

I sigh looking at my mother's photo on the table beside the couch, "I'm trying to make you proud mum, I promise. I'm trying to meet a girl like you mentioned about seeing me getting married but..no one is the right fit it seems" I sigh, "Goodnight mum, Love you" I say stand up and heading to the bedroom. 

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