Asher & Julia| 16+✔️

Chapter 47

Asher's POV

Ace sits down and scratches the back of his neck patiently waiting for me to talk.

"I...uhm, I think I'm slowly losing it" I tell him.

"Losing what?" He asks, his face full of worry as he awaits for my answer.

"Everything, my mind..the will to fucking live, I lost the girl because I'm an asshole..I did it on purpose" Ive had too many things on my mind lately, all starting two weeks ago.

"Lose her?"

I nod slowly looking down to my fiddling fingers, "Yeah..." I gulp, "Some guy Otis...Ollie...something, was texting her and he asked her out on a date, it just made me realise that she can do better than me you know? It made me realise that I'll lose her one day so why not now before I'm in too deep"

"But she just met your mum right?"

I shrug, "Yeah did but Ken walked in and basically voiced that I was a piece of shit" I shake my head not wanting to think of that night.

"I'm always here Ash"

"But you're not, you're leaving soon and I'll be here alone trying to protect my sister as I slowly disintegrate, I'll be trying to keep my mum happy along with keeping Cam safe as Ken stabs knives in my back, only Tyler and Thomas will be here but they're not you..they don't care what I have to say...well Thomas maybe but he's got all this money and his family is perfect, he won't understand"

"I know I'm leaving but only for a year tops but I'm still here, you don't need to hangout with them...they're a waste and get you involved with stupid shit. As for Camila, she's a big girl and wants you to talk to her...stop pushing her away. It's hurting the both of you..I see it"

I stay silent keeping my eyes glued to my busted hands. I know he's right but all I know is pushing people away and acting like an asshole, I guess people would say I'm like my father...

"Asher, I'm always going to be here..." his voice quiet like his emotions are getting the best of him, "You're my brother, I won't be going anywhere unless you want me too. Remember in high school, the kid with the Justin Bieber haircut, him and the football team were bashing you because you smoked weed and other shit but you didn't care, then I came along and beat him up because I heard them calling you names...you said just leave it because you didn't care but I did and I always will, when you go through something..I do too. When you went through that shit with your dad...I went through that shit with you and still do, do you know why?" I look up seeing his eyes glossing over, I shrug shaking my head slightly.

"Because you're my brother, we go through shit together and have since the day we met. Your pain affects me too just like my pain affects you, when my dad passed I saw the way you looked at me, it was like you lost your father that day too. We do shit together Asher. I won't go anywhere no matter the fucking miles..." he slides his index finger and thumb underneath his eyes to wipe away the tears from dropping before continuing.

"You need to stop pushing people away, it's hurting you and it's hurting me to see you this way. I see the change in you ever since you met Julia, you were happy Ash. Why would you let that go?"

I bite the skin off on my lower lip feeling it sting, "She is too perfect for me, she has loving parents that want her to do good because they are rich and want her to succeed like they have. She's too good for me, she doesn't need some stoner boy ruining her life, even if it wasn't to happen now I'd ruin it eventually because that's what I do. I ruin things..."

"On purpose because that's what you think you'll do" he cuts me off, "Why not show people that you're not a fuck up? Why not prove them wrong?"

I let out a small laugh, "Prove to who? Ken? Mum? Cam? Julia? I would rather them live without me and not have to worry, I fuck up because I would rather them hate me then love me..."