Reunion of a lifetime

5: on the way

The next day I was kind of freaking out. The stress had taken over again. I had to get to the airport really early. But I was late. I only just made it on to the plane in time. I tried to get a nap in, but after all these years I still can't sleep well around strangers. Especially if I'm alone. So I just sat back in my first class seat, watching a few movies.

When I arrived in London. It was really cold compared to LA, but i was used to. I got out of the airport and home with out being spotted by anyone, apart from two teen girls, who I took photos with and gave them a cuddle. I honestly love my fans.

It was 3pm when I finally got through the traffic and arrived at my house. Just hours now. That's all I had. It's been around almost 5 years since it all came crashing down, for the final devastating time. Then the band ended and my problems after. I still haven't had enough time to prepare. I've just been pushing our situation into the back of my mind.

But I've got to face him.

I unpacked surprisingly quickly. I showered. Blow dried and styled my hair. Then picked an outfit. I decided on something casual, but I still wanted to impress you know. I know I need to look reasonable if there were gonna be paps about. And knowing Simon, there most likely will be.

I looked at myself in the full length mirror in my walk in wardrobe. I wore a pair of blue track pants that had orange stripes just under the knee, along with a white long sleeve shirt that was slightly over sized. I paired it with just a pair of black sneakers. I looked pretty good considering how tried I was and how my stress was coursing through me.

I sat in the couch in my lounge room for awhile just scrolling and replying to some tweets. Most were about the band and how everyone was on edge about the anniversary coming up. I avoided those one. I don't want to get in trouble just two days in. Then something caught my attention.

It was a picture of a fan with the man who still plagued my thoughts. He looked good but it was from a few days ago in Mexico. He was wearing yellow swimming trunks and a plain white shirtsthat was a little tight around his biceps. I had heard he had cut his hair, which expected, but now had a hair cut similar to the one he'd had back in 2013. Wow that brought back some memories.

I had avoided any news about him as much as I can. I'd only listened to his music that had come up in the radio or in public places. I couldn't handle listening to it. I'd just been pushing him into the back of my mind for too long now, never really dealing with it. I never got over him. I admitted that to myself awhile ago. Probably why I'm feeling all these things now that I'm seeing him again.

I logged out if twitter and saw it was 6:20. I put the address of the restaurant I was sent into google maps and saw it was about 30 minutes away. I grabbed my wallet and car keys from the table next to the front door and headed towards where my car was parked.

I bought myself a new car to celebrate the success of my album and tour. It was an all black Ferrari. It was flash, but not too flash so it didn't stand out too much. I hopped in and started to drive towards my destination.

Despite the thoughts and anxiety that was racing through my body. I knew how to keep a straight face and hide it. I'm a good actor. I've had plenty of practice over the years. I mean this was a good thing. The band was getting back together. I know I belong with the other lads. As much as I loved my solo stuff, I missed having partners to share the successes with. Im a bit lonely to be honest. I missed sharing that with the person I loved.

I haven't dated anyone in a long time. After Brianna, I was with this actress, Danielle, but I could tell she was using me for my fame and I ended things pretty quick. When my mum passed, management got me back with my old beard, Eleanor. I publicly Im still with her. She's a really nice girl and does her job well. I've known her for years and we're good friends, I just don't see her much. Other then that I'd only had the occasional hook up you know. Never with any guys though. If my sexuality got exposed by a one night stand or something that happened at a club, Simon would have my head. But honestly, the reason was that no one could really replace him.

I was around 10 minutes away when I realised my hand in the steering wheel was beginning to shake. Keep it together Louis. You can do this. Your gonna see the lads again. Have a nice dinner. You are not gonna feel guilty about what you did and how it went down in the past. Even things from years and years ago...

*flashback*

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" Harry asked as he stood up from the couch.

"I mean I can't keep lying about us anymore. It's hurts me to bad. I just can't do this anymore." My voice broke. Tears were beginning to form in both our eyes.

"Are... are you b-breaking up with me?" He stuttered the words out. He only did that when he was really upset.

"I just can't do this anymore."

We stared at each other for a moment, both now crying. This hurts so bad. Fuck! But this needs to be done. I need to let go.

I couldn't take him staring at me anymore. I walked away turning my back to him and more tears flooded out of my eyes. I headed towards the front door and grabbed my suitcase before turning the door handle.

"Please. Please don't leave. Don't do this Lou." Harry croaked out from his sobs behind me.

"I'm so sorry." I couldn't turn around and face him. And with that I opened the door and closed it behind me. I could hear him break down crying even more. I just about ran down the hallway, uncontrollable tears coming out. It was over.