Reunion of a lifetime

4: the day before

What if I fucked him up? Who am I kidding! Of course I did. I mean it was primarily my fault how things ended. But he... did things too. He fucked me up too. This isn't one sided. I mean I can't deny I've changed. I've been told it. I'm just not the same after I lost him, after we lost each other. There's still not a day that goes by where I don't think about him, even with me trying push the thoughts down. But I'd never admit that. I just distracted myself, and until recently, not in healthy ways.

I'm broken out of spiralling thought by my phone ringing. I looked to see the contact ringing me: Payno.

"Hey mate." I said as I answered the call, keeping my voice calm.

"Louis! How are you mate? Has Simon rang you? I mean this is insane! Like what!" He blurted out loudly, making me laugh a little. Liam always could cheer me up by him just being himself.

"Yeh I know. I just got off the phone with him. Still trying to get my head around what's happening you know?" I said finally relaxing and sitting back on the couch.

"Yeh me too. So are you coming tomorrow night?" He asked.

"Yeh Yeh I am. I'm was flying in tomorrow anyway so it should all work out."

"Alright good. Look I'll see you there. I've got to go. Zayn's yelling again about something. very on edge. He doesn't think this reunion is the best idea but he agreed anyway." He said a little bit quieter then before.

"Wait zayn's coming back to the band!?" I said shocked sitting up again. I mean it's just one bombshell after another at this point.

Liam and Zayn had had a fling back in the band but they were both with people at the time so they kept it strictly a friends with benefits kinda situation, if you know what I mean. But it all ended after Zayn left. Liam was really the only one that kept in touch with him after. But eventually that died down.
Couple of years ago now they reconnected, ended up dating and they've been together ever since. Zayn made up with the rest of us too and honestly I'm just happy that I had my best friend back. They've been keeping it a secret from the public and have beards and all that because Simon being the homophobe he is, decided they weren't allowed to come out. But he knows how to handle this better this time around. He's had practice.

"Yeh. We had a chat and I brought him around to the idea. He seems keen but just a bit on edge. He's just been complaining and complaining about being solo since his last album. He doesn't want to admit it, but he liked the band better. It was management that ruined it from him." Liam replied to my question. Zayn was very stubborn and would never admit that. But I knew it was true.

"Fair enough. The fans are gonna love when they find out he's back."

"Oh yeh I can't wait to see their reactions. Anyway I'll see you tomorrow Yeh?" Liam said.

"Yeh I'll see you then. Bye love ya mate."

"Love ya." Liam said as he hung up.

I sat their for a few minutes in silence just reminiscing about times in the band. Only problem was that just about every memory involved him.

To distracted myself, I got up and went towards the kitchen and got myself a bowl of cereal. I've gotten better at cooking over the years but most of the time it doesn't turn out how I imagined, so I have a hired a chef to come in and make meals most of the time. If not cereal or cheese toasties would be the only things successfully made.

I didn't realise how hungry I was until I finished the bowl in about two minutes tops. So I just sat on the couch in the living room and watched whatever shitty show that was playing.

Once I'd had enough of the tv, it was 11:30. I headed to my bedroom and spent the few hours packing my things that I'm taking home. I love my LA house but it just doesn't have the same vibe and my London house or the small one I have in Doncaster. Maybe it's because it's not in my home country? Honestly who knows. It is what it is.

I didn't realise how long it took my to pack until I looked outside and saw it was already dark out. I mean I did take a nap half way through and got distracted by Niall constantly texting me bloody 1d 10th anniversary posts, but I got the job done in the end. I dragged the two suitcases next to the front door and headed for a shower.

My plan on distracting myself worked pretty well if I do say myself. Once I was out of the shower, I gave my hair a quick once over before wrapping my towel around my waist. My phone buzzed on the bathroom counter scaring me. I picked up the phone, expecting it to be another bloodily text from nialler, but it was twitter.

I slid across the screen to open the notification. It was a news article. 'It's One Directions tenth anniversary in four months. Are they reuniting?'. Well fuck me Simon got straight to the rumours. Well at least the fans should be excited now. They pick up on everything. I scrolled through the comments under the post and they were all of directioners freaking out.

I turned my phone off as I walked into my bedroom from the ensuite and chucked it on the bed. I found a comfortable outfit to wear for the night. Just a tshirt and black sweatpants. I don't need to impress anyone tonight and to be honest I don't care if I did anyway. I've grown a lot in confidence this last year.

I went through a rough patch for a while. Let's just say I partied a bit hard after the... break up. It just got worse after my mum passed, then I fully fell off the edge when fizzy died too. It really fucking recked me. I over did it one night. Woke up in the hospital. Hospitals hold so many bad memories for me, so we I woke up in one I freaked out majorly. Luckily lottie was there to calm me down. Wasn't my proudest moment and the next day there were multiple news articles. It ruined any sort of relationship I had with Brianna and she kept Freddie away for me because I honestly couldn't look after me in my own.

So since then I've stayed away from the party scene mostly, but especially drugs. I only smoke a little now and only with friends. I stick with cigarettes, but I need to quit. I have Fred's to think about now and I'm not as young as I used to be.

I reheated the last of the premade meals my chef had made before he took time off and ate it while watching a movie. After the film had finished, I decided I was gonna get an early night due to my flight tomorrow and the stressful day ahead of me.

I layed in bed looking up at the ceiling just thinking for awhile. I just can't believe the bands getting back together. I honestly didn't think it was gonna happen. I know we were technically on 'hiatus', but that term kind of expires after awhile you know. I loved being in the band so much. Making music with my best friends, and also being able to write so much and create. Excitement was overcoming my nerves the more I thought about the good times we had. I started to drift off into sleep. Then my thought were interrupted by the curly headed brunette.

That night I dreamt of him...