—————————————————Goldi sat on her balcony, a blanket wrapped around her as she stared at the stars.
They blinked at her as she practically got lost in them, the full moon plump as it felt like they were looking right back at her.
She had always felt connected to the moon and the stars because she knew that when no one else was, they would be there.Halloween was the next day, but she had no intent on going to any parties or dressing up. She had cried every day, Mattia coming over all of the time. she knew she was pushing him away, she'd quite literally told him to go away 3 hours ago.
She felt horrible, but she couldn't control herself. Her medication hardly worked and she could barely sleep anymore.She'd eaten once in the past 3 days, not having the stomach for even the scent of food.
She wasn't going to school tomorrow, she didn't know when she finally would. She physically couldn't be there. The place disgusted her.She looked at her phone, seeing that the time read 2:48.
She decided to go back inside, climbing in through her window.
She wiped a few tears that had trickled down her cheeks, walking into the bathroom to brush her teeth.
She pushed her hair back, looking at her sunken in face and dark under eyes. She looked horrible.She walked back into her room, getting a facetime call from Amelia. She quickly wiped her face with a wet towel before answering.
"Hi shawty," Amelia said, obviously noticing Goldi's exhaustion.
"Hi," She replied with a weak smile.
"I woke up early and I knew you were awake. Just wanted to tell you goodnight," Amelia said, stretching awake.
"Thank you, goodnight," She laughedGoldi and Amelia's mom walked in awhile into the call, saying something quietly to Amelia.
"Ciao Goldi," Her mom said as the camera was pointed towards her.
"Ciao mamma-" Goldi said, being interrupted.
"Goldi you look so skinny. Hai mangiato?" She asked worriedly. (have you been eating).
"Yes momma, don't worry," Goldi lied. She didn't want to worry her."Ok I'm going to sleep, ti amo," Goldi said after talking to her mom for a while.
"Ti amo, take care," Amelia said before hanging up.Goldi laid back against her bed frame, sighing as tears poked at her eyes. She never wanted to worry her mom. She meant the world to her, she would sacrifice herself for her.
However, when you really think about it that's exactly what she did. She left Italy, the place that has brought her so much joy so her mom didn't have to worry.Goldi finally laid down, deciding to text Mattia goodnight before she tried to sleep.
She felt bad for snapping at him earlier. She hated that this situation was affecting her relationships.She laid there, trying her best to fall asleep. Failing, she stared out her window, where the glow of the moon illuminated her room slightly.
She couldn't wait for this to end.—————————
It was finally Halloween, the night Goldi had dreaded so much.
Everyone was out having fun, and she could barely get out of bed.
Her friends were going to a party, she told them that she was ok, that she wanted them to go have fun. She didn't want them to sacrifice their night for her.She got up for the first time that day, brushing her teeth and washing her face.
She put on moisturizer, curling her lashes and brushing out her eyebrows. It's the least she could do, she couldn't bare to even look at herself.
She put on one of Mattia's big hoodies. It fell just in the middle of her thighs.She laid back onto her bed, looking at her phone. She almost immediately set it back down, bored from scrolling all day long.
Even though she told all of them to have fun today, she felt extremely weird. No one answered the group chat, text messages, calls, anything.She looked out the window, shed watched the stars for hours almost every night. Tonight they were covered by clouds, making her slightly sad.
It was about 9:00, her dad of course was at work.
She decided to go downstairs, pouring herself a glass of water.She sat on the counter, scrolling through her phone. She heard the front door being messed with, like someone was trying to unlock it.
She assumed her dad was home, waiting for him to fully unlock the door.Just a second later the door shot open, exposing all of her friends smiling from ear to ear.
Mattia held pizza and a bag, setting it on the counter as everyone came up to Goldi to hug her.
"Hi shawty bæ, " Ayiana said, wrapping her arms around her. Hailey followed after her, holding Goldi in a 3 person hug."What happened to the party?" Goldi asked, Kairi, Roshaun, Robert, and Alejandro alternating hugs.
"It was at Jenna's house, " Hailey said with a disgusted face.
"Hi Goldi, " Mattia said, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of her head.
"Hi, " She said with a smile."We brought pizza, " Robert said, opening the box to reveal Goldi's favorite.
"Thank you guys, " She laughed, everyone getting a slice.
"So, we're gonna watch movies and eat pizza, " Ayiana said, putting a piece on a plate and handing it to Goldi.
"Sounds like a plan, " Goldi agreed.Goldi smiled and laughed along with them as they all got pizza. She was trying her best to be positive. She felt bad knowing they sacrificed their Halloween for her, making her have the obligation to keep a smile on her face.
She walked into the living room, turning on the Tv, and browsing through movies."Halloween town!" Roshan yelled as he stuffed pizza in his mouth.
"Bro that's such a gay movie, " Kairi laughed.
"Kai, we're watching it just because you said that, " Goldi said, looking up the name.
"As we should, " Ayiana yelled, more energy than Goldi expected.She pressed play as everyone came into the living room. She laid on the ottoman with Mattia, her legs crossed over his as they ate. Goldi started to find it easier to eat and felt like she wasn't pretending to be happy as much.
She was glad that they brought a distraction, at least trying to help her through this rough time.They watched the show, laughing at the stupid moments. Goldi only ate one piece of pizza, but it was good that she ate at all.
Once she was done eating she snuggled closer to Mattia, his arms wrapping around her.
They continued to watch random movies, mostly talking to each other while they played in the background.Goldi of course still felt horrible, but being around people that made her laugh made everything so much easier.
Maybe she was getting better.——————————————
YOU ARE READING
A beautiful tragedy
Fanfiction*˚· i still love you mattia, i will forever. i just cant do it anymore *˚· Mattia Polibio fan fiction read, you won't be disappointed TW: self-harm, smut, strong language, ED, sexual assault