A beautiful tragedy

28 ✨

—————————————————

liked by mattiapolibio and 83,492 others
goldi.derossi: hi guys. I wanted to clear stuff up since there's a lot of misconceptions. I'm not even 100% sure what happened but Mattia and Jenna didn't hook up they just kissed. Me and Mattia did break up. I still have live for him but right now it isn't the time for us. Me and Kairi are also just friends. I know the audience is a lot of younger kids, but please never say death threats or tell someone to hurt themselves in any way. you never know how close someone is to giving up. please take care of yourself 🖤

comments were disabled

———————

Goldi sat with her knees tucked into her chest, tears slowly falling down her face. Kairi held her, letting her cry in silence. After all, that's what she really needs, to just let it out.
She'd gotten multiple death threats, and even people telling her to kill herself. It was a lot to handle, especially for someone who deeply struggled with those thoughts.
It hurt a lot to let go of Mattia, but she knew that right now they couldn't be together. She felt betrayed, not knowing who to trust anymore.

She just knew that right now, she trusted Kairi to be there for her. She's known him for years, he's been the only one that hasn't betrayed her or tested her trust.
She almost felt numb, like the tears were falling but she couldn't feel the emotions that usually come with it.
She could barely control them, the tears falling without her control. She was so stressed, not only from Mattia but the situations that have been happening lately.

She had to go to school tomorrow though, her grades were dropping and thanksgiving break was coming up.
It was about 10:45 as she told Kairi she would be fine for the night.
"Thank you for being here Kai," She said, hugging him tightly.
"I'll always be here, text me whenever ok?" He said, Goldi nodding as she waved bye.
"Love you Goldi," He said before leaving.
"Love you too," She said as he walked out the door.

She went into the bathroom, washing her face, and brushing her teeth. Her skin was always so dry now, she felt like she cried every day.
Her eyes were swollen and bright red, showing off how much stress she was under lately. She was grateful for how tired she was, laying down and almost immediately falling asleep.

time skip: next morning

Goldi woke up to the sound of her alarm blaring, stretching awake as repeatedly hit the screen to stop it.
It was 7:30, giving her half an hour to get ready.
She got up and walked into the bathroom, turning the shower on. She didn't have to wash her hair today so she just washed her body and face.

She got out, brushing her teeth as she got a good look at herself. Her eyes were still swollen, and she was absolutely exhausted. She rolled her eyes as she walked back into her room, putting lotion all over herself.
She put on a big hoodie and black sweats, looking at her picture collage. She saw pictures of her and Mattia, the happiness in her eyes, it made her fall right back into the bad feelings.
She took them down angrily, fighting back tears that threatened to spill.

She sat down at her vanity, not wanting to do much makeup. She brushed out her brows and curled her lashes, putting a small about of concealer on to cover her dark under eyes.
She got a text from Hailey saying she was on her way, throwing on her air forces quickly. She dreaded seeing Mattia, and even more the entire school. They all knew.
She sprayed perfume all over herself, putting on her backpack and walking downstairs.
She made herself a quick cup of coffee, putting it in a cup that had a straw and lid.

Right after finishing Hailey got there, Goldi walking outside and into the car.
Aiyana, Hailey, and Kai were also there, giving her an immediate distraction.
"Are you ok?" Hailey asked, Goldi, laughing sarcastically in response.
"Here," Aiyana said, handing Goldi a wax pen.
"Oh period," Goldi said, taking a few hits before handing it back to her.
"I look like shit," Goldi laughed, catching a glimpse of herself in the middle mirror.
"You're fine, you should see Mattia," Kairi said, immediately regretting it as Goldi's expression changed.
"I don't want to see him. Even though he's in my first period, and in our friend group," Goldi said, finding everything funny now that she was high.
"We can go off campus for lunch, get food somewhere," Hailey said.
"Yeah, please," Goldi said and Hailey turned the music up.

They got to school after a couple of minutes, the bell ringing almost the second they got onto campus.
Goldi said bye to her friends, hugging them before walking to her class with Kai.
They talked while they made their way to class, Goldi trying her best to ignore the judgmental stares. However, it felt like everyone was watching them.

They finally made it to her class, Kairi hugging her before walking to his.
She sat in her normal spot, waiting for the teacher to start class. Mattia hadn't come in yet, but she honestly didn't want to see him. It hurt how much she still loved him, seeing him made her just want to wrap her arms around him. To forgive him. But she knew he needed time to learn that wasn't ok, and if they ended up together later it'd be fine.

She hadn't put eye drops in, and wasn't even trying to make herself look sober. She didn't care.
A couple of minutes later class started, Mattia walking in making her heart drop. He wore sweats and a hoodie, Goldi and him holding eye contact for a moment before he sat down.
"Why are you late Mattia?" The teacher asked as she did attendance.
"Traffic," He lied, his voice sounding raspy, like he'd been crying.

Goldi immediately sunk into her seat, just wanting him to hold her. His eyes were puffy and red, she could tell he wasn't doing good. She knew she didn't look any better, and Mattia knew his effect on her. He knew how she felt right now, and he knew she was high.
Mattia felt the exact same, however. He missed being able to call her his, and being able to tell her he loved her. He fucked up, and he knew that. But he was more than willing to change that for her.

————————————————